What’s a Girl to Do?

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Well, first they come and tell you we don’t know if you have bipolar d/o or unipolar depression, so here take this antidepressant and you’ll be fine. Then you go into a full blown manic phase, with delusions, hallucinations, total insomnia. Then they say “Oops, you have bipolar disorder, you have to take lithium.” So you go on lithium with added antidepressants only when you’re feeling depressed. So mood stabilizers such as Lithium Carbonate all the time and increased dose for manis, antidepressants, in your case selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), for you it’s Zoloft. Then when you get used to this regime, Lithium Carbonate maintenance dose. Lithium Carbonate increased dose for manic episode. Zoloft + Lithium Carbonate for depression, they change the rules. Now no more SSRI antidepressants, ever! SSRI’s increase the likelihood of cycling, meaning going though depressed and manic phases. So done, gone, nada. Now what do you do when you into a depressed phase? Well there are selective norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (can’t take them, make be burst with anxiety), there are other mood stabilizers such as Abilify or Depakote (can’t take them, bad side effects), there are Amphetamine derivatives such as Adderall (can’t take them, baaaad side effects.) What does that leave? Maybe, seriously, I have to think about MAOI’s. The monoamine oxidase inhibitors. These don’t inhibit the reuptake of neurotransmitter, they actually inhibit the enzyme (monoamine oxidase) that breaks down neurotransmitters, so there are more neurotransmitter molecules available for neurons. This is good! Unfortunately however, you cannot eat anything aged when you are on MAOI’s, which means no wine, cheese, and other yummy foods. I would try these though if a depressive phase was so bad that I couldn’t function. My friend swears by one called Parnate. This class of antidepressants had been shown to alleviate depression in people who may be otherwise drug resistant. Hmmm, maybe, if I go into a severe depression, I’ll ask my psychiatrist to prescribe Parnate or one of the other MAOI’s. I guess that’s what a girl’s supposed to do. Or a boy for that matter.

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