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Depression help

irisIris, it means heavenly colors.

Being in a severe depression is one of the most excruciatingly psychically (and even physically) painful experiences any one can ever experience. That’s when the bottom falls out from under you, the rug is yanked out from under your feet and in either case, there is a black, terrifying bottomless abyss into which you fall. At first you claw and scratch to get out, but then as the days go by, you give up. You sit down, you stay put. All hope is gone, you have no energy to fight, your inner voice has maliciously turned against you. It tells you you are worthless, garbage, not worth saving. You don’t want to listen but you have no choice, you have no energy left to fight this. You have no hope of getting better. And anyway, are you sick or is the the way you always were? Useless, hopeless, ugly, stupid, wrong, just plain wrong. Well this kind of depression, a severe depression definitely needs medication. But might someone in this kind of severe depression, or someone in a less severe depression be helped by another technique? My very good friend once told me of their experience with depression and how they cope with it in a very compassionate and positive way, which is to treat yourself like you are your good friend. So, you wake up, you feel so awful that you don’t feel like getting out of bed. Now you are treating yourself as your own good friend, so you say “Hmm, don’t feel like getting out of bed? That’s ok, just rest if you need to.” Then you check in with yourself and ask :How about now? You feelin’ any better?” Then later “Feel like takin’ a shower? No? That’s ok, maybe later.” And you go on like this, treating yourself as you would a good friend. With compassion, love, caring. No name calling, derision, hate. Remember depression is an illness, you are not doing this to yourself, you are suffering from an illness. What if you broke your arm and started calling yourself names and saying hateful things to yourself? You wouldn’t, you’d go to the emergency room, get a cast and NURSE your arm back to health. This takes me to the second thing I wanted to say, my fellow blogger Gentle Kindness just posted a post (http://gentlementalannie.com/2015/02/13/personal-care-and-depression-be-your-own-nurse/) about depression, in this post she describes depression to a tee and then offers the suggestion that when you are in a depression, you should be your own compassionate nurse! Another brilliant idea. Who wouldn’t benefit from a good friend and a compassionate nurse? Lately, I have been feeling the choking, ugly, bony fingers of depression around my throat. Tasks have once again become more difficult to do. There is dread in my heart and tears that spill easily from my eyes, and my heart feels like it’s breaking for things that would not normally phase me. yes, depression, unfortunately, definitely depression.Well, I am going to try an experiment. Instead of saying what I normally do to myself when I’m feeling depressed “You useless, sick, sad excuse for oxygen consumption.” I am going to treat myself with compassion and love, as a sick person deserves. Well it’s already working to lift my mood a little, it’s infinitely better to hear “It’s ok honey, you are sick, take it easy. You’ll feel better, you always do!” than the above dialogue. Be kind, be compassionate, use loving words and have hope and be resilient. You are hope and resilience. Hugs and positive thoughts for all those suffering from depression or other maladies of the mind or body.

16 thoughts on “Depression help”

  2. Reblogged this on Gentle Kindness and commented:
    This is a great post and one of my posts is referenced during it. I love the way we can inspire each other’s writing. I am often inspired about what to write when I read other people’s ideas.
    One of the best parts of being a blogger, is the interconnection between the bloggers. We have own special magical world !
    Much Love to all,
    Annie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When you are deeply depressed, you may not feel like doing much of anything or being with anyone. But rather than hiding out and doing nothing, it’s best to be active, even though you may not want to.

    Ask yourself, Aikens says, “not what do I feel like doing, but how much am I capable of doing?” But don’t overreach, or else you may end up feeling worse if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do. “Aim for 80% or 90% of that goal,” Aikens says.

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    • I just looked up Aikens. His advice is good, but when you are deeply depressed, just getting out of bed is a struggle, so aiming for 80 – 90% of a goal may be quite difficult to do. But yes. we must not give up and keep striving to do as much as we can, all the while treating ourselves compassionately. 🙂

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  4. Reblogged this on Darkness Falls and commented:
    I am stuck in a deep depression at this stage, and now that I have read this…if gives me hope. It is keeping the suicide thoughts at bay. Strange how these little things help in a time when you really need it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so sorry, I just saw this, it went into an unapproved folder. But let me tell you I am so glad you read this and most importantly that it gives you hope. Please don’t do anything to yourself, there is ALWAYS hope. I have been in a place like yours 29 years ago and now I have a 24 year old son in Law School and I have been married for 27 years! And I am up and down, but I have never been as low as that time 29 years ago. A song saved me, called “Hang on for One More Day”!!! So you’re right, these strange little things save us, because we don’t want to succumb, It is in the human spirit to survive! Best wishes to you. Stay in touch. xxxooo

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  5. Thanks for these very helpful and unusual suggestions. I have never heard this sort of advice before and can see how it would be useful. It is so easy to self condemn, especially when other people seem to be or actually are condemning you for being depressed. Will pass this advice on. Many thanks!

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  7. Oh dear. When I am depressed, my brain shuts down and I am in the bottom of a pit so deep and dark that light is not even visible. I can’t think or talk or self-talk. It’s beyond self-loathing. It just IS. I have learned over the years that the best thing is simply to force myself to hang on (literally) for dear life, knowing that sooner or later it will be over. Sometimes that has taken years, and that has caused a decrease in my overall functioning (psychiatrist says loss of gray matter). Meds don’t help. Self-nursing consists of force-feeding and, if I can force myself out of my chair, kicking myself out the door to breath some fresh air, which does help if I remember to do it. There’s depression, and then there’s depression. Both are awful. One is completely paralyzing.

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    • Wow, how awful! I am glad you are still able to do somethings that help you. Sounds really awful, I really hope they will find some medication that will be helpful to you. I keep talking about Ketamine because all reports say that it is helpful in treatment resistant depression. Have you and your psychiatrist ever discussed that? Best wishes.

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  8. Pingback: Depression Help - Huffington Post - Self Help Education Arena

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