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I’m trying!

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I have been stuck in the past forever, going over things that happened years ago, in fact I just posted a post about why I didn’t finish my PhD, and the comment left on that post by my good friend Barb led me to write this post.

Her comment: “My friend…..this is my new ideology…..maybe it will help you.
NO REGRETS!
I USE to feel guilty about EVERYTHING and repeat these scenes in my head over and over….now NO REGRETS…we are here right now on this planet to learn and become better humans….so if we did everything perfectly there would be nothing for us to learn…..therefore…NO REGRETS!”

She is so right. Regrets and rumination, they will keep you stuck in the past, and keep you in a depressed mood, they may not put you in a depression but they will definitely exacerbate it. The past is over, get over it! Can’t change it, have to move forward from here on out. No point in second guessing it, you can’t go back there and change anything.

Actually I have not been feeling well since I came back from Philadelphia. It was such a positive experience, my heart soared, and what goes up must come down… at least that is what happens if you have bipolar disorder. Sigh…

So not only do regrets keep you depressed, but they are the direct result of having gone into a depressive phase. So there, I admitted it, I have been in a depressed phase for the last few days. And it feels awful. I am tired, don’t want to do anything or go anywhere.

How do I pull myself out? Well, I’m having a Halloween party and the house isn’t going to decorate itself. Also heeding Barb’s advice will help, actually I think just reading her words made my brain produce some much needed neurotransmitters, in other words reading her comment made me feel better. That’s how simple it is. We get by with a little help from our friends!

No regrets! Onwards and upwards! I’m trying!

9 thoughts on “I’m trying!”

  1. Saw the video. I live 45 minutes form Phila. You looked like you had a good time. The question I have for you is that you tell yourself get over it. Why? People used to tell me that. If anybody ever said that to me today I would go nuts on them because no matter how hard I try to get over things they stay with me and yes, there is guilt and all kinds of feelings. I am an ultradian cycler .. Tough road with co-morbidities. I try not to be hard on myself. But, as you know that’s a difficult path to take. We didn’t ask for this and yet we live with it as best as we can. Its all part of life’s imperfections. I stopped trying to get over things a long time ago. I learned that the more you fight something the stronger it gets. Maybe I am wrong, but dont get over it, let it be and it may just fade away. I am still learning after all these decades. I wish you peace.

    Thank you kindly for your blog.
    Michael

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    • Thank you so much Michael for reading and commenting. I agree with you, there is no “Get over it”! There is recovery with meds and therapy. There is the daily fight with moods, negative self talk, and anxiety. You don’t get over it. You just have to be stronger than it is! I did have a wonderful time in Philadelphia, my first time there. I had no idea it was such a beautiful and vibrant city 😊. Thanks again. Samina.

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  2. All of this post…..so true.
    Have you seen this brief TED talk? I really enjoyed it and now I just need to start following more of what she mentions…..her French accent is fun and her intelligence is inspiring, so I thought you’d appreciate that! :))) XO It’s only 11 minutes and you can just listen to it while you do something easy like put away clothes or even (gasp) veg out!

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