That A(bandonment) Word Again


This little tiger cub was screaming till I put my arms around her!

I didn’t ask to be abandoned, I didn’t ask for abandonment issues, but I do accept the challenge of overcoming them. I’ve been reading extensively and trying to put all that I learn into practice. Below are a few of the extremely positive passages in some of the webpages and websites I’ve been reading. I have been trying to get over these issues since the beginning of this year and I do believe I’ve made great strides. Before January of this year, I wasn’t even aware that I had abandonment issues and that I could be re-triggered. But now I know, and knowledge is power. I have always stood tall and strong even though I’ve been through some pretty hellish things. I have never given up and I do not intend to give up now 🙂 With my customary strength and persistence, I am sure I will overcome these abandonment issues and their re-triggering. As I said, since I realized this is something that is happening in January, I have made progress. I don’t react or get re-triggered as much I did when I was unaware that it was happening. Now even if I do get re-triggered, it is for a short time and recovery back to my normal self is quicker. I firmly believe that total recovery is not only possible, but forthcoming. So dear readers, if you are suffering from this issue as well, I wish you and myself all the luck and send you and myself all the positive thoughts I am able to send. Godspeed and good luck, dear readers.

11)The power is within you to turn this experience into an opportunity for profound positive personal growth. Vow to benefit from abandonment rather than be diminished by it. The abandonment recovery program helps you find greater life and love than before.

A therapist will help overcome fears of abandonment by changing the emotional reaction associated with abandonment. This can help the person separate the past from present day and work toward correcting their negative and false beliefs. It also helps the person by teaching him or her to develop more positive and realistic reactions to events in his or her life.

True healing from abandonment occurs when a person who has fears of abandonment leans that the fear is in the past and cannot control the present-day relationships providing he or she maintains healthy perspectives about life. 

Because of a lack of validation and security as a child, the abandonment issues grow. However, by addressing these feelings, it is possible to break the cycle.

A therapist or counselor can often help a person learn to separate fears of the past from the reality of the present. It may be possible for individuals to achieve cognitive transformation through this process and thus develop more positive reactions and realistic expectations for their lives. When individuals are able to recognize their fears are rooted in the past, they can often begin to develop the ability to minimize the way fear controls their emotional responses to current relationships and events and achieve healing from past experiences. 

Many types of therapy, from eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to dialectical behavior therapy, can address abandonment issues. Psychotherapy for abandonment often focuses on helping a person address and tend, in a self-compassionate way, to the parts of the self holding on to the memories and feelings associated with abandonment trauma. This form of self-exploration might include distinguishing the vulnerable, helpless child of the past from the stronger, more capable adult. Simply pursuing treatment with an attentive, empathic therapist can often help soothe a person’s abandonment fears.

Abandonment issues can be overwhelming, but individuals challenged by these fears can frequently learn to manage them in ways that are healthy and productive. Methods of addressing and overcoming abandonment issues might include:

  • Exploring ways to care for the self
  • Developing the ability to access a safe and calm “center” when fears threaten one’s sense of safety or security
  • Learning to successfully communicate needs in intimate relationships
  • Building a sense of trust in others

12 thoughts on “That A(bandonment) Word Again

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s