Fault vs. Responsibility

Brilliant video by Will Smith. This is truer than true. Even though it’s not someone’s fault that they were abused as a child, it’s still their responsibility to take that pain and hurt and suffering and do something with it so they can have a life full of love and laughter and constructiveness. If they continue to play the role of the victim, and believe me I know that any child who is pummeled into a bloody mess is a victim, but if this victimhood is kept alive, then the person will never take responsibility for their own life and move forward. Moving forward can also involve forgiveness, forgiveness can also take away victimhood. Instead of constantly living with hatred and anger, if you forgive your abuser, it can take away their power! You don’t need to be angry, hateful, negative because you’ve already forgiven them. And forgiveness is not for them, it’s for your own self, to get you out of the cycle of remaining a victim, anger, hatred and fear. Yes fear is at the crux of all the negative emotions. So if you can forgive, and take responsibility for your self, you can invite love and purpose and happiness into your heart.

Anyway, just watch the video, it’s brilliant!

Forget concussions. The real risk of CTE comes from repeated hits to the head, study shows

Thank you Kitt O’Malley (kittomalley.com) for tweeting this.

This is horrifying, any hits to the head can cause chronic traumatic encephalopathy or CTE. The hits don’t have to cause concussions, any hits to the head can cause damage which may or may not be evident immediately.

Football coaches of young kids who play football should read this article as well as NFL players, coaches, and officials. These debilitating, often invisible at first, and sometimes deadly injuries really need to be checked. A sport should not cause the death of its players. 😢😢



So, this winter, I didn’t really go through my yearly and very dreaded hypomanic phase. It’s been quite a miracle, and for this I am endlessly grateful. The reason was medication of course. A combination of Lithium and Seroquel. Although I am a little sluggish and my muscles ache a little bit, the yearly being out of touch with reality didn’t happen! The Daily emotional breakdowns did not happen. The being totally dysfunctional did NOT happen.

Anxiety still happened but those other things did not!

Amazing what the right dose and combination of meds can do!

So for me, winter in my manic mood and summer is my depressed mood, exactly the opposite of seasonal affective disorder. So I am moving towards depression now. However, I am hoping that since the hypomanic mood didn’t really occur, neither will the depressed mood. As we all know, the intensity of mania in one direction is matched by how intense the depression will be in the other direction.

Oh I have s bit of a pitchy stomach from Seroquel, but nothing that a rigorous ab regimen won’t take care of.

All in all, it’s been an unbelievably stable winter! I can’t tolerate too many meds but these two, Lithium and Seroquel, that I can tolerate are mega bosses.

Hoping for stable moods, happiness and love in the lives of all who visit here and even all who don’t.


Could Emotions Trigger Allergies?

This is quite fascinating! Hmmm I’m going to try and see about my allergies which I developed when I moved out of Buffalo. Interesting, very interesting!


The intense emotions associated with bipolar may cause allergies to flare up.  Pinpointing a traumatic experience and talking it out may help.

Photo: PeopleImages/Getty Images

By Lynn Rae

For this blog post, I am going to take you back in time to the 1970s.  I am going to show you that allergies are really our emotions in disguise, in my experience.

I was a teenager.  I rebelled against authority, but only in small ways.  My mother still ruled and I was afraid of her wrath if I did anything wrong.  Smoking cigarettes was the cool thing to do at that time.  It began innocently enough for me.  I was only 12 and a friend came to our cottage with me.  I tried smoking, but couldn’t inhale.  But I was hooked.  I kept trying to smoke and I was going to learn to inhale.  By the time I was 16 I was smoking regularly, perhaps 2-8 cigarettes a day.

Then I met the man, who was to become my husband. He smoked a pack a day. By the time I was 19, I was smoking that much too.  I really don’t know why I enjoyed it so much.  It is only in the last few years I have come to understand that all my emotions went up in smoke.  I smoked when I was happy, sad, mad or glad.  I smoked to celebrate the beginning and end of the day.  I smoked on my coffee break and lunch hour from work.  If I was angry with my husband or some other family member, the first thing I did was reach for a cigarette.  With every inhale and exhale, my problems seemed to disappear.

By the time my son was 3, he was fascinated with cigarettes and the ashtray.  One thing I didn’t want was for him to become a smoker.  A hypocrite was something I was not!  I quit smoking in the spring of 1988 when I was pregnant with my daughter.  For three days, I lay on the couch in the fetal position having withdrawal.  It was tough, but I was determined to quit for my kids’ sake.  Exactly six weeks after I quit smoking, I was visiting a farm and my nose started running.  It wouldn’t stop.  I went through a box of tissues in 24 hours.  I went to see my doctor.  He said I had allergies.  I shook my head in disbelief.  How could this be?  I quit smoking to get healthy and this is what I get?  I took allergy pills and/or a needle for a few years.  Every time I walked by the perfume counter in a store I would start to sneeze.

Over a 15-year period my allergies eventually subsided.  I didn’t need to take medication for them anymore.  During this time, I was diagnosed with depression, then bipolar disorder.

This is when the real work on myself began.  I read over 200 self-help/motivational books, attending workshops and support groups, left my marriage and began to rebuild my life.

Since 2005 I have had very few problems with my allergies acting up.  Also by 2005, I had resolved every issue I had with people in my life to the best of my ability.  I knew that getting out of toxic relationships and/or jobs was the key to my well-being.  As a side effect, my allergies cleared up as well.

Fast forward to the summer of 2008.  I met a man and fell in love with him very quickly.  However, he was never available.  I didn’t want to believe he was married, but the signs were all there.  But there was something about this man that captivated me.  I wanted him more than I have ever wanted a man.  But all I got was the leftovers.

A few months later he was going away on business.  I told him when he got back he had to decide; it was her or me.  Finally, I had to accept that we would never be together.  When I tried to accept this fact, my sinuses started acting up.  I hadn’t been bothered by allergies for four years.  My nose just ran and ran and ran over a 24-hour period.  I couldn’t sleep, I was so stuffed up.  I tried working, but had to come home.  I could hardly breathe.  I took some over-the-counter medication, but it didn’t help.  I told my girlfriend how I was feeling.  She let me talk and talk and talk.  When I finally was all talked out, my allergies eased up.

Now fast forward to 2015.  I was slightly hypo-manic and decided to contact him.  I hadn’t thought about him in years, but for some reason I needed him again.  Once again, we started up a relationship.  However, by this time he had left his wife a year earlier.  Of course, I was daydreaming about how we would one day live together.  When, once again, I realized he was just using me, and my allergies acted up.   It was only when I could let him go that my sinuses cleared up again.  I have seen over and over again that when I am really upset about something, my nose gets stuffed up.

You see, when we smoke, we are smoking all our emotions away.  When I quit smoking in 1988 there was nowhere for my emotions to go because I didn’t know how to talk to people about what I was feeling.  We didn’t talk about problems in our family; problems got swept under the rug hopefully to be forgotten about and go away on their own.  It was only when I learned to talk about anything and everything that was bothering me that my allergies disappeared.  They only rear up once in a while, but don’t last for more than a day or two because I can usually pinpoint what the issue is and talk in out with a trusted friend.

If you are bothered by allergies, go back to when they started.  What triggered them?  Do you agree or disagree with my opinion about why we get allergies?