One thing not commonly known about BPD is that it comes in many varieties. There is the straight mania/depression variety. There is the “Mixed Phase Rapid Cycling” variety. This is the one I suffer from so I can be the most informative about this one. In this mixed phase rapid cycling type, you can go through many cycles of manicky/normal/depressed in one day. When you are manicky, you can be talkative, take risks you wouldn’t normally take, don’t sleep, have lots of energy and lose weight. It can be exhilarating, but it also comes with a LOT of anxiety. I know, sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest or I am going to die. In the normal phase, you are perfectly normal, no one looking at me in the normal phase can say I am cycling. The only bad thing about the normal phase is that you realize all the crazy things you have been doing in your manic phase and it can be quite devastating. In the depressed phase, you have no energy, you cry a lot, the bottom just falls out from under your feet. I just stay in bed. Can’t function. So no one knows what I look or act like when I’m depressed. It’s kind of like like being a yoyo whose strings are controlled by someone else. Imagine you not being able to control your thoughts and emotions. Just going on this involuntary, sometimes devastatingly painful emotional roller coaster ride. Until finally either you realize in one of your normal phases what’s going on and call your psychiatrist to prescribe you some extra lithium or one of your loved ones does. The increased dose of lithium miraculously brings you out of this mixed phase and gives you back normal. And you have never been so glad of that six letter word than the day you aren’t cycling anymore!!! So this is one of the things that happen to people who have bipolar disorder.