Well Adjusted or Damaged

FSCN3419For some of us, life is fun and games, lightness and happiness, do you know how lucky you are? Very! For some of us, life is a burden, heavy and dismal. Why are some blessed and some cursed? What determines which one you are? Some people are so lucky to be well adjusted and happy, while others struggle and deal with the heartbreakingly intense emotions of failure, and profound sadness. The crazy thing is that it can be as simple as  all chance, your parents were sane and didn’t abuse the hell out of you, you are also sane and well adjusted. You were not as lucky, your parents were insane and subjected you to unspeakable abuse, well you are damaged. Is there truly a way to heal yourself? I will see. I am sure going to give it my all.

15 thoughts on “Well Adjusted or Damaged

  1. I’m rooting for you! In my own case, I have had to start thinking about it as an amputation with resultant phantom limb pain. After 30 years of therapy, trying to get over the damage done to me by a mother with Narcissistic/Borderline Personality Disorder, I finally realized that I was trying to make something healthy that didn’t exist. Namely, my self esteem, plus all the time lost in dissociated states. Add to this the years of trying to have “normal” relationships when I have no idea what “normal” looks or feels like, trying to be a good parent without any role models…well, Hell’s bells, girl, I just had to take a step back and forgive myself for not being able to wave my magic wand and get my missing limb back. So now I’m working on being a well adjusted amputee. Funny, because one of my weirdo lab jobs was to cut the limbs off of amphibians and study the way they grew back. Damn vivisectionists! I think of those amphibians with envy. Not three ones I cut up, the ones who lived in ponds and got away from predators by donating a limb, and got a new one. But, since that ain’t likely to happen, I’ll learn to live with what I’ve got. It may not be template-perfect, but it’s what’s on my plate.

    I’m still rooting for you!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve just had, I think, five years clear of abuse flashbacks. And they only came back because of some other physical /medical stuff. I’m getting them under control again. I think if flashbacks can be managed, then there’s a good chance everything else can too. I’m sending you all possible good vibes. You can do it. I’m glad you’re with your kid xxx

    Liked by 2 people

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