One of the worst things about bipolar d/o is that when you’ve been in one of those phases and then come out of them, you feel as though your mind has betrayed you. Your illness took you on this path without your consent. You were simply dragged along without any recourse, at least for a while. The manic phase you were in caused you to act extreme and in an illogical and very emotional manner. You may have said and done things which you would never have done in your normal state. This costs you friends and relationships you valued very much. How do apologize in a meaningful way so that they will forgive you? How do you make friends and relations understand that that wasn’t you, it was your “evil twin”? Some people understand, some don’t. And some understand, but perhaps choose to stay away from you because they don’t want to have anything to do with a “crazy” person. I understand this. But it is extremely sad that because of an illness, you lose friends who are important to you and whom you would never hurt in a million years.