The worth of a life. Ugh, blah again, blue again… and it goes on..

lab 2    lab

What is it worth, my life?

Two Master’s degrees.

A Bachelor’s degree.

A marriage to a wonderful and very successful man.

A son, lovable, handsome. brilliant.

Friends.

Cats.

These are all part of my life, components of my life.

But what is the sum total of it?

What am I worth? The elements that make up my body may fetch you $3.00!

How much did I contribute to the world?

So what am I worth? What is the sum total of me?

Don’t feel good, probably obvious.

Probably because of stopping Zoloft, my brain is in withdrawal for the effect of Serotonin. I just have to withstand it for 6 months to a year, easy. That is when, according to my doctor, my brain will normalize and the withdrawal effects of Zoloft will go away. Until then, I live with these fluctuations of mood and feeling like a rag doll.

Did go to the lab today, have started in earnest. Waiting for a project. Maybe that will make me feel worthwhile, feel I have worth, feel I am worthy.

There are so many things bothering me, but I am not sure if it is because of my mood or if they are  really issues, so I will not speak of them here.

Just go on, put a smile on my face, turn off my brain and exist, live.

5 thoughts on “The worth of a life. Ugh, blah again, blue again… and it goes on..

  1. I relate to this post so well, and my wonderful friend Kitt O’Malley hits the nail on the head with her comment. I hope with all my heart that your Zoloft withdrawal timefreame is the exception to the rule of 6-12 mos,i.e. that it happens much sooner! I hope by the time you read this message you feel better, but in case you don’t, please know I’m thinking of you and you’re in my thoughts & prayers. You are an incredible and beautiful person!!!! (((hugs))))

    Liked by 1 person

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