Monitoring Your Mood.


If you have a mood disorder then you surely know all about this! Thoughts that pass regularly through my head are: Am I getting too angry? Am I getting angry too often? Am I being too emotional? Am I too sad and weepy? Am I too irritable? Are my thoughts flitting from subject to subject? Even the thought “Am I too happy” crosses my mind, although this is a rare occurrence. Depending on the answer to those questions which I ask myself regularly, sort of reflexively after 28 years, one or more of my meds has to be increased. But eventually these meds’ fuses will come down if the side effects are too intolerable… Lithium and Seriquel. These two stalwart pillars in my treatment regime. Zoloft used to be one of my meds, but as I have said in the past, is no longer in my repertoire of meds as it causes cycling and mixed mood phases in people with bipolar 1 d/o like me. Now if I go into a depression, I am hoping that Vit. D, and Omega 3 fatty acids along with Zumba and other vigorous physical activity will help me come out of it, or better yet, prevent me from going into a depression altogether. One can always hope! 😉
I said I am always monitoring my mood. This is actually not an easy feat. It’s hard to judge my moods as I am judging my moods with the same organ that produces these moods, namely the brain. So it is hard to be objective. But I do s fairly decent job of it. At least that’s what I think. Haha. So anyway, anger, irritability, flight of ideas, insomnia (not a mood but easier to gauge) are all signs of mania. So is weight loss. Irritability, somnolence weight loss or weight gain are signs of depression. So we people with mood d/o’s have to be hyper vigilant in monitoring our moods so that these phases don’t get carried away from us and end up in a hospitalization. For me hospitalization is definitely defeat. I will go into the hospital like I did in 2009. But it is the mood disorder winning and me losing when that happens. Probably s strange thought to some, but that’s what I think. Perhaps it’s really is an unreasonable way to think, but my objective is to stay well enough, by being treated with meds and being hyper vigilant about my mood changes, to stay out of the hospital and live a normal, happy life with no mood upheavals. In reaching this objective, my doctor is my ally and I trust and depend on him. But I am also my own best advocate as I know my illness really well and I know what’s going on inside my head… really wish I didn’t live there but I do,,, oh well c’est la vie, n’est pas?
Well that’s all for now.

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