Learning to ride the waves of anxiety

Just got back from Buffalo last night. Even ordinarily, this is a depressing, and horribly anxiety ridden time for me. All manner of fearful, depressing thoughts swirl inside my brain. So with this abandonment thing going on, I was very afraid, I mean actually afraid for myself, that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. But I am riding the waves of anxiety. Sometimes it feels like my chest cavity is full of hot red pepper, sometimes it’s so intense that it literally feels like a gut punch. But I know it is only anxiety and I ride it out. I tell myself it is only a wave of anxiety and it will pass. The thoughts, which are all fears for my son and his future, I try to keep at bay. I am also reading a wonderful book called “The Journey From Abandonment to Healing” by Susan Anderson. This book has given me so much hope that I have the power to recover and live my life without the constant fear of being abandoned. It tells of people who have recovered, therefore if they could do it why the heck wouldn’t I be able to? Of course I will. And now I’ll ride the anxious waves and try to send them love.

14 thoughts on “Learning to ride the waves of anxiety

  1. I’m re-reading all the blog posts I’ve missed for God knows how long, but I’m going backwards, so please forgive me! I’m so sorry about these awful waves of anxiety and I hope they subside soon, my sweet Samina. I know exactly what they are like as I ride them too. I’ve been using Rescue Remedy tincture (safe to use with the MAOI) which helps a bit. Not as much as I’d like, though! I’m thrilled that Susan’s book is helping you, by the way! I’ll have to remember that so I can recommend it to others at my women’s group! XOXO LOVE YOU!

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