I have been feeling useless, like a burden, and generally a mess. But I have decided to tackle these things head on. Instead of wallowing in the misery that these thoughts have brought on, I will look at them another way, a more constructive way. Namely by asking myself what can I do to remedy this situation? Do more, be more… How? Well, I might have been feeling depressed or anxious or a little too up and did not accomplish all I should have. So, from now on, I will do more, not go on spending sprees (nothing major, haven’t bought a Maserati yet, haha) so there is not even the least bit of worry about our finances or bills. Yes, spending sprees are a symptom (sometimes) of my bipolar disorder. Actually, I am just very extravagant, my grandfather was and my grandmother used to berate him for it. I think I inherited it from him! (When in doubt, blame it on your progenitors.) But… and yes there is a but… since I am aware of this, I can surely control it. Right? I think, therefore I am! I, very possibly, need to stop using my illness as an excuse and be more functional, carry the responsibility of mine and my family’s life on my own two shoulders. Instead of feeling bad, I am going to be happy that I have had this insight, and now I am able to do something to remedy the negative things and do more of the positives that I was already doing. Yes, tomorrow is another day! Oh gosh, what would we do without our tomorrows (ok, ok  Eckhart, don’t have a fit, I know it’ll be in the now that I will act)? And it is a day to be better than we were yesterday. To be out better selves. To be thankful for what we have in our lives. To be thankful for our loved ones. To not wallow in our misery, but LEARN, learn, learn from our missteps, and live life with responsibility, love and joy, and appreciation for all that is in our lives. Even the negative things, because they are our greatest teachers.

6 thoughts on “Responsibility

  1. fall on the side of accountability. I feel people need to take responsibility for their actions no matter what – even with bipolar disorder. I feel this way about people with mental illness and people without. If I do something, it was me doing it and no one else. No doubt, what I’ve done may be highly influenced by a disease that is not my fault, but I still committed the action and have to deal with the consequences.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thinking of you!

    I’m writing this comment with a brand-new ear infection & fatigue descending upon me, so I too feel like a “mess”, but we’ll rise above it. You and I have done just that many times before…

    Everything changes, and tomorrow *is* another day just like you mentioned! I must admit I do wallow in silly, negative stuff, but I know that I have so many wonderful blessings to be thankful for in life. I’m shifting my attention to:
    my family, my dog, my (good except for the ear & fatigue problems) health! There’s nature- all I have to do to be reminded of its beauty is to look at your stunning picture of the pink roses – we have music, food, books, friends, the blogosphere….chocolate gets its own category. So I’m going to focus on that now!!!!

    I send you a big, big hug, my dear!

    Liked by 1 person

    • On no! Are you on antibiotics? Hope so and hope the darned thing goes away asap! Your list of things to be thankful for is so complete and beautiful! If we read that every day, we cannot possibly wallow 🙂 Mmmmm chocolate! Best wishes for a fast recovery. Love and hugs to you my dear Lady Dy.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I just discovered your blog through another bipolar blogger and am impressed. I have bipolar 1 too and am on disability for it. Your writing is fresh and interesting and I will be back for more.

    I write a blog called bpnurse. Hope you’ll stop by sometime. :-). In the meantime, thanks for being here!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I will definitely read your blog posts, the picture certainly is very pretty! Our poster child, Catherine Zeta Jones, right? Good to know you and let’s stay in touch.


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