This is a post about forgiveness and how forgiving can contribute to your mental health.
Even if you have been through hell, and someone has committed an egregious act against you, forgiving this person is in your best interest. Let me explain.
Of course, you are upset, angry, maybe even rageful that a person has done x, y, z to you, or your loved ones. Yes our first reaction is probably anger. That’s normal. Perhaps you want revenge, that too is normal. You may even dislike, or hate this person. Even that is normal.
But, when days, months, maybe even years go by, and this hatred and anger, and negative emotions in you continue, then who do you think this is harming? I have news for you: this is harming YOU, not the person you hate. Hatred and anger, and fantasies of revenge cause stress hormones in your body and mind to surge, these harm your body and mind. They do nothing to the person you hate.
So, you don’t have to like this person, you don’t have to have anything to do with them, but forgive them. For your own sake. So you can get over the upheaval of feeling hate, anger, and revenge against them. This gives you your peace of mind back, you are then, not controlled by your emotions against this person. You are free and can be at peace. Your stress hormone levels are low, and your mind and body are not being assaulted by them.
Forgiveness, for your own sake.
There are many reasons you might come up with to not do this. You can say “Oh I can’t do this, the crime against me was too heinous!” Or you may say you are too angry, you cannot let go of it, that person doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Fine everything you say is valid. But just let go of all your reasons to stay angry and harming yourself, let go and for your own sake, forgive them.