This is what I know of depression: Depressed people don’t take responsibility for their own happiness or feelings. They don’t take ownership of their own life. They are so depressed, their mood is always plummeting, they are in so much pain that they cling to things on the outside. Their happiness depends on the attention, the approval, the love of others or such and such a thing happening. Their happiness is conditional. If I hear from so and so I will be happy. If such and such happens, I will be happy. The locus of control is external. This leads to more depression if you don’t hear from so and so or such and such doesn’t happen. And it leads to addiction if you do hear from so and so. The reason to be happy is because you want to be happy, because you are thankful for being alive and for your life. The reason to be happy is not so and so or such and such. You cannot make one person or one situation responsible for your happiness. The locus of control has to be internal. The happiness has to come from inside. Ha! Try being depressed and having happiness inside! There is none. There is a deep dark, sad, empty, painful, bottomless pit of depression inside you. So you grasp at and hang on to things/people outside of yourself so you don’t fall into the abyss. And this only makes it worse, because people are not put in this earth to conduct their actions to ensure your happiness. And things can’t always happen exactly the way you’d like them to. No one is responsible for your happiness but you! Not your friends, not your children, not your significant others, not even winning the lottery. So what do you do? You take a deep breath and you let go of the attachments you have. You let your friends, children, significant others, you let them all off the hook. Yes it feels like you’re teetering at the precipice of the abyss, you are walking a tight rope without a net. But it also feels good because now you are in control, you’ve taken it back, whether you’re happy or not is back in your hands.
Getting out of the depression can be done with medications and talk therapy. Getting back control of your emotions, being responsible for your own happiness can only help the recovery from depression.