This is a little difficult for me to write about. It’s actually hard to believe it happened, but it did. I went to see my psychiatrist on Feb. 10th. I was telling him about how much anxiety I feel about my son, his being so far away from us, whether he is ok, whether he is looking for jobs. I have anxiety problems, as you know, and sometimes I transpose those onto my son. Sometimes there really is something worrisome going on. My psychiatrist seemed to get upset himself, and said “You have no control over what he does! He could be getting hit by a car and dying right now and you have no control!” This is making me very anxious even as I write it. I was totally flabbergasted and I sort of shrieked and said “What are you saying?” I told him that is not the right thing to say to me. It was in fact a horrible thing to say to a mother who has anxiety problems focused on her son. The whole night I kept waking up with a start and sort of panicking about my son. Who says a thing like that to a mother? How did he, my psychiatrist, who is supposed to help me, say such an awful thing? I don’t understand it. What I do know is that it is time to find a new psychiatrist. I calmed myself down in his office with the breathing exercises I have learned. I did that all night long. Even the next morning, I awoke with a start, anxious about what he had said to me. Pretty preposterous, I think. This on top of him prescribing me 125 mcg of Synthroid (my endocrinologist had prescribed 88 mcg) which was too much for me, so that now I have bad osteoporosis in my spine! and now I have to take medication for that. He had also prescribed Premarin for me, luckily I refused to take that because I knew that hormones push me into mania. Pretty awful. And this man is a highly respected psychiatrist, a supposed expert in mood disorders. Where is a person to turn? Obviously, I have to find a new psychiatrist. That in itself is quite anxiety provoking. Let’s hope I find a good one. And long live breathing exercises.