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Sadly, the only thing I can do is change psychiatrists

This is a little difficult for me to write about. It’s actually hard to believe it happened, but it did. I went to see my psychiatrist on Feb. 10th. I was telling him about how much anxiety I feel about my son, his being so far away from us, whether he is ok, whether he is looking for jobs. I have anxiety problems, as you know, and sometimes I transpose those onto my son. Sometimes there really is something worrisome going on. My psychiatrist seemed to get upset himself, and said “You have no control over what he does! He could be getting hit by a car and dying right now and you have no control!” This is making me very anxious even as I write it. I was totally flabbergasted and I sort of shrieked and said “What are you saying?” I told him that is not the right thing to say to me. It was in fact a horrible thing to say to a mother who has anxiety problems focused on her son. The whole night I kept waking up with a start and sort of panicking about my son. Who says a thing like that to a mother? How did he, my psychiatrist, who is supposed to help me, say such an awful thing? I don’t understand it. What I do know is that it is time to find a new psychiatrist. I calmed myself down in his office with the breathing exercises I have learned. I did that all night long. Even the next morning, I awoke with a start, anxious about what he had said to me. Pretty preposterous, I think. This on top of him prescribing me 125 mcg of Synthroid (my endocrinologist had prescribed 88 mcg) which was too much for me, so that now I have bad osteoporosis in my spine! and now I have to take medication for that. He had also prescribed Premarin for me, luckily I refused to take that because I knew that hormones push me into mania. Pretty awful. And this man is a highly respected psychiatrist, a supposed expert in mood disorders. Where is a person to turn? Obviously, I have to find a new psychiatrist. That in itself is quite anxiety provoking. Let’s hope I find a good one. And long live breathing exercises.

18 thoughts on “Sadly, the only thing I can do is change psychiatrists”

    • Thank you so much! I thought he was a good person and a good doctor, but things keep happening and I think this is the final straw. I feel bad though, like somehow I’m being disloyal. I’ve already contacted another doctor for an appointment. Let’s see how that goes.

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  2. That’s horrible. If someone said that to me, I might just punch them. No, my PTSD would get out of control because the asshole would no doubt call the police, and then that would be a worse scene..definitely change shrinks! And what is this person doing prescribing hormones? Thyroxin I can understand. It’s an old standard for depression, although for bipolar it’s not so good, for obvious reasons. Premarin I would never take under any circumstances, because it’s Pre-gnant mar-e ur-in-e. They cause these poor pregnant mares to stand squished in tiny stalls 24/7, so that their urine goes down a drain and is collected and the HORSE estrogens extracted. So mares are tortured and human women are fed horse hormones, yay….I don’t know why that shit is still in existence since synthetic estrogens are cheap and plentiful.

    I’m sorry about your son’s distance. It’s so painful, not knowing.

    Hugs, my friend…

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    • Yes, it was pretty awful. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So now I have to look for another doctor… Besides Premarin being abused horse urine, estrogen alone also causes breast, uterine and ovarian cancer, right? Besides all these hormones make me manic. Anyway, we’re all done with this man, I do feel bad because he was good and nice in other wYs. But I can’t overlook his awful remark. Thank you for your comforting words Laura! Hugs to you too.

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  3. I have a son who moved from home and lives 3200 miles away and I also feel like my heart will go through my chest when I think about him and worry for no damn good reason other than I am his father and I miss him so much and pray that he will wear his bicycle helmet on his bike rides and fastens his seat belt and all those things that a parent so deeply in love with a child does. I ruminate 24/7. I cycle every day which make it also worse. I dont know what I can say to you other than I am also looking for a new Psychiatrist. He has been in the profession at the top of his game for 40 years. Took me over 10 years to finally find a person who had his expertise. I have been with him for 5 years. I told him how ill i was and how scared I was for my son and I also saw his frustration as he said what I heard to be “get over it”. I can only say that he was a lucky man becuase my wife was in the room and saw me in the process of losing it. She diffused the situation. I write this to let you know that you are not alone in your journey. You have people like me walking beside you in the same pain. I have no clue where my travels will take me but what I do know is that we have to be there for our sons and somehow we will find the right path. The path with a heart. Somewhere there is a doctor out there who has the heart and compassion and empathy to help you and honor you. I wish both of us peace and to all the others who are looking for the same thing we are.

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    • Thank you so much for your empathetic comment. I try not to worry about my son, but like you said, it is natural for parents to worry. Especially when they have the illnesses we have. I know my son is fine and will be fine, but sometimes there are things that are worrisome to me. 3200 miles, wow! That’s tough. My son was thinking of joining JAG. I have very mixed feelings about that. I also wish you find a good doctor, who is sensitive and competent. Thank you so much for commenting and walking with me šŸ˜Š as I walk with you.

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  4. What a total #^&%$&&% idiot he was to say that – I’m so sorry – I know you liked him (as I did with my &%&*^ ex-psychiatrist) but I commend you for making the 100%, absolutely right decision in finding someone else, honey. You are soooooo not disloyal!!!! I’m proud of you for contacting someone else right away and will have you in my prayers today. I worry ALL the time about my girls and I’ve already told them they have to attend my alma mater for college (which is 15 minutes away) They are 8 & 11. Ridiculous, I know. But I can relate, even now. Love you, beautiful! Stay strong! You are taking action and that’s what counts. XOOXXO

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    • Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. Maybe it’s difficult for men to understand how a mother feels, although a father commented on this post and sounded just like me. Yes it was unbelievable, the words he used, how my heart sort of jumped into my throat. You don’t expect that sort of thing when you go to your psychiatrist’s office. Anyway, moving on. I hope I like this new doctor. He used to be a neurosurgeon! And keep your girls as close as you can. Family time ends much too soon, they go their own seize rate ways and as another friend said: you are a spectator in their lives not someone who is fully involved. Love you little sis. Sending you hugs.

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  6. If you had previously liked your psychiatrist, you may want to let him know how he affected you. I had a psychologist I stopped seeing because of how she reacted to the fact that my son plays video games for hours a day, so I get it. He may not be the right pdoc for you, or you may need to push back. I did speak to my psychologist over the phone to thank her for the years of help she had given me, and explained that I needed to see a therapist with expertise into today’s adolescents.

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  7. I feel that is such a wrong thing to say, but I do understand where he is coming from, having said that its not the right way to put it to someone who has anxiety about their son and I am so sorry you had to go through that.

    And now he has said it you may never get the trust back which is why I completely understand you wanting to go elsewhere. Good luck in your search

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