People…

ferrari-458-italia-red-11

They will say whatever they want, do whatever they want, think whatever they want, whenever they want. There’s nothing we can do about it, nothing I can do about it. People who you thought were your friends will call you a narcissist, nothing you can do about it. You are not a narcissist, all your true friends know that. Or do they? How do you know what anyone thinks? How do you know whom to trust? Can you trust anyone at all? Are we not just animals with animal brains, thinking animal thoughts that come out of the animal amalgamation, the chemical concoction in our brains. Half the time we don’t even know why we feel the way we do, how can we possibly know how someone else feels and why and what will come out of their mouth?

Let me just tell you honestly, so you can laugh your head off, I have always given my friendship unconditionally to my friends, trusted them wholly, and they could trust me completely, I’ve been their friend with no conditions. But I am not really sure that is the right thing to do. Of course, and again, here I am being stupidly sincere, I don’t know what the right thing to do is… it’s just that when someone you think is your friend calls you a narcissist, well, it doesn’t feel good. And it sort of shakes up your beliefs and it rattles your trust in other people. Does everyone think I’m a narcissist and just hasn’t said it to my face? Do they think worse? No, I admit, I am decidedly no angel, but when I think of you as my friend, I do think of you well.

Anyway… I’ll get over it. I know I am not a narcissist, and so do my close friends… I think… I don’t want what someone said to me, maybe carelessly, maybe not, to change who I am and how I think and behave, but for now it has, like a brand new Ferrari 458 Italia red can get dented in a collision… I feel dented, maybe time will hammer out the dents and give me a fresh coat of fire engine red paint. Maybe not. Ooops, is that narcissistic???

 

 

2 thoughts on “People…

  1. I’ve been called a narcissist before by someone who was actually a narcissist! Recently I took inventory of my friends because I was being either hurt or disappointed. I made the decision to disengage from then. I too give myself unconditionally, and realised if its not returned, I have more invested in the friendship, and that’s not healthy. So I’ve done some housekeeping and separated the wheat from the chat. Maybe such an exercise could work for you. Friends shouldn’t dent you

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