My friend Blahpolar at https://theblahpolar.wordpress.com/ is gone. She had unremitting depression, she tried everything even ECT, but nothing worked. She fought against this god awful illness bravely and courageously. Like a real warrior. I thought she was coming out of it when she started commenting on my posts again in her witty and intelligent way. But no, she took her own life because she couldn’t stand the pain of this unrelenting depression. Her name was Ulla. Ulla, I will miss you. I will miss your intelligence and your razor sharp wit. I will miss you being in this world. I wish I could have done something to help. Damn this fucking illness. Damn this disease that makes it impossible to live. Another one of us gone, another one couldn’t handle the damnable pain that this devilish disease inflicts upon us. I am devastated. I don’t know quite what to do. Cry? What’s that going to do? Wail? Bring her back? If only! For anyone who thinks this is not a serious illness, this illustrates just how deadly serious it can be. Oh god, I really don’t know what I’m going to do. Not suicide, no, not that ever. But what am I going to do? How do you cope with this over and over again?
Let me tell you one thing, I just wish I’d never heard of this infernal disease, not ever.
May you rest in peace now, my dear friend Blahpolar aka Ulla.