Try

img_0249Just tired, exhausted. My son has the flu and i’ve been staying with him, maybe I am also coming down with it.

Some stories keep coming to my mind, the story of a friend who followed her husband to Europe, and then had to move back with her children under bad circumstances, involving the betrayal of his marriage vows. But she persevered and is now living with her young children, on her own terms.

Another friend, whose husband, under the effect of substances, becomes abusive, becomes a monster. She is trying to help him get clean and reclaim himself and their life together. She has children as well, and they have suffered because of the effects of substance abuse. I can only wish them well, and send them all my support and love.

Another friend, she has been rejected by her partner. Her partner has disappeared into a cocoon of silence and she doesn’t even know what the problem is. She talked to me and we had a guessing marathon based on past events. But guessing marathons are about as useful as melted ice when you’d like a cool drink.

All of these friends of mine, and mostly all of us, would benefit so much from communication. What if in the case of my first friend, her husband had said he wanted to get a divorce and not dragged her to Europe, uprooting her life? Things would have been so much better for her and her children.

In the case of my second friend, communication during the early phases of substance abuse may have helped them nip the problem in the bud. This is a tough one, because people don’t admit they have a substance abuse problem to themselves, let alone anyone else.

My third friend is agonizing over what is wrong, she can make guesses, but she doesn’t know why her partner has left her. Not knowing is much worse than being able to say why. If he would tell her what is wrong, perhaps they would have a chance at correcting it. But he says nothing, refuses to communicate with her.

These stories of my three good friends, these strong, amazing women, who have gone through so much in their lives, they still continue to battle for themselves, their children and even their partners if they would let them.

Life can be very difficult at times. What do you do? Give up? Fight? Persevere? Try. We try.

 

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