And so it goes

Sometimes I feel the burden of life is too much. What have I done to deserve this heavy, hellish life? Where is my luck? Good luck? The luck I see so many people possessing. Some people can skate through life without getting a concussion. They can grow up without suffering abuse. They can have siblings, all of whom live to old age. Their families do well. There is not some crisis or other every few days. I am tired. I am exhausted. Lately, things had been looking quite rosy, had been looking up. But once again, it did not last. Someone extremely dear to me was physically harmed by hoodlums. I feel sick, nauseous, not knowing what I do next. How to survive, indeed why survive when there will only be another calamity sooner or later?

And again I sit here and wonder. When does it stop. Does it ever stop? Will me and mine always be used as a cosmic punching bag?

Literally sick and tired. The fight inside me ebbing away, seeping away. 

15 thoughts on “And so it goes

  1. Forgive me if I’m overstepping in ANY way, beautiful Lady S, but have you seriously considered ECT? You know I had it done in 2013 (when I went off meds) and when my Dad died in 2009, and it helped me get out of that hole. I’ve also heard positive things about TMS. Sending you love and strength and you’ll definitely be in my prayers so that you feel better soon…..

    Liked by 1 person

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