Mental Illness

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Family Describes Chattanooga Shooter as Being on a Downward Spiral

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 10.43.04 PM Asabah2 Assassins2-alamut

Just in case I may not have explained myself well enough as to what I meant, I meant to compare the culture of love so prevalent in African American communities to the culture of hate that has developed in middle eastern fringe groups, both due to religion. Also, I firmly believe that just because of the way they act, terrorists are insane people allowed access to guns or ammunition of some kind. Isis are, to me a group of whacked, insane people, with access to a large number of guns and ammo, who have grouped together to give them selves some sort of insane legitimacy. Crazy people from all over the world, including the West are flocking to them. This is not a religious philosophy, this is madness.

My mind is reeling as I read this article: “Family Describes Chattanooga Shooter as Being on a Downward Spiral” links below . The combination of mental illness, inadequate medical treatment, recreational drugs, and in this case the philosophy of the “Hashisheen”, let me not call it philosophy, it is not the love of knowledge, let me call it “philonecry” or the love of death, all these put together, to again be the cause of horrendous actions and results!

First of all, let me explain who the Hashisheen were (http://disinfo.com/2012/07/hasan-bin-sabbah-and-the-secret-order-of-hashishins/). The word Assassin comes from them. And yes, it is hashish they are talking about, which was used to drug the recruits to have them perform their murderous tasks. They were a Persian sect headed by Hasan bin Sabah, born in 1034. The students in this sect were taught to question everything, including Islamic dogma. They were intellectuals. Ultimately they were turned into the Hashisheen, or assassins through the use of drugs, a paradisal garden (Hasan’s palace) and promises, no, not just promises, but the absolute surety of going to heaven by committing murder and sacrificing themselves. So here’s what they did, they recruited young men, gave them hashish, took them to Hasan bin Sabah’s paradisal garden, while they were in their hashish high state, they were told that this garden is paradise, and this is where they will go when they murder others and kill themselves in the process. I’m sure 40 virgins were also in the garden to spur the new recruits on to do their murderous/suicidal duty!

These are the predecessors of the modern day terrorists. If Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez had been a young recruit of the Hashisheen, his actions could not have been more in accord with their tenets. As I live and breathe, I believe that mental illness was and is involved in terrorist activities. Who in their right mind would set another human being on fire while they are still alive, I ask you? Well the terrorists do it, but so did the Spanish inquisition, the English inquisition, the Nazis, so much murder, torture, and mayhem caused by religion or crazy philosophies and people. By humans. The latest of which is this news story of a mentally ill young man, who didn’t get treated adequately, using recreational drugs, to self medicate, no doubt, in combination with an insane “philosophy” of the Hashisheen as carried out by present day terrorists, all this, a powder keg of death and delusions, leading to the death of innocent people.

Is it insanity that is to blame? Is it the inadequate treatment? Is it the hashisheen/terrorists crap to blame? As I write this, as I try to make sense of of all of this, my head is swimming, I ask myself: Why? Why the death? Why the murders? Why the insanity?

In direct contrast to this hashisheen/terrorist bs is the way African Americans live life. They have been though unspeakable atrocities, and they too look for a better life, if not here, then after death. But their way is love, not hate. They forgive those who transgress against them. They truly do behave according to the philosophy of Jesus. I am in awe of these people. If someone killed my relative, I would not be able to go on TV the same day and say “I forgive you”!

The Play/musical called BUSTER! that I am in is about the same principles of love and forgiveness and “We shall overcome!” And even “We shall not, we shall not be moved! Just like a tree that’s planted by the water, we shall not be moved!” But never is it about we will blow up people and die in the process so we can go to heaven!

As a very good friend of mine pointed some of these things out to me when there was violence at cartoon drawing competitions of Mohammed in Texas, these are two extremes. Both are looking for something better, both saying if life is hard on this earth, things will get better in the next world, that alone is a very dangerous and destructive idea. But African Americans choose love and non violence, while some Middle Eastern people choose murder and suicide. Why?

Martin Luther King left his legacy of love  and a dream, of Christian values. One man! How?

Hasan bin Sabah created a sect which is violent and murderous, and is still having an affect today. Why?

Just one more thing, Arabs and Middle Easterners and Pakistanis, in general, are the most hospitable people in the world. I go to Pakistan and I am amazed at their hospitality and innocence. These are not bad, murderous people! They are being used to further an evil, murderous, violent agenda. But who benefits from this? Why is it happening? I don’t know and I am tired of it all.

Also, present day terrorism, as far as I can see, is in response to the occupation of Palestine, the land where the Arab’s were made homeless so that the dispossessed Jews could have a home. I am not excusing it, not saying terrorism is the answer, but what do you do when your home has been taken away from you, all your possessions, your country, your nationality has been taken away from you, and you have absolutely nothing but yourself. Do you go quietly and live as a homeless, nationless, nobody or nothing, or maybe do you think I will use what I have and use it for protest, my body… yes, huge issues, political, religious, moral issues and questions. Do I have the answers, no. But I am asking the questions.

I try to end on a positive note in my blog posts. For this one, I have nothing. Or maybe I do… one person can make a world of difference… we should make sure we are having the “right” affect, leaving the world a better place because of our existence.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/07/21/424975751/family-describes-chattanooga-shooter-as-being-on-a-downward-spiral?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20150721

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/21/us/chattanooga-gunman-wrote-of-suicide-and-martyrdom-official-says.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur

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A Physical Illness For A Change

Buster Poster

Yes Gentle Readers, I have a cold. Not just a mild cold, a whopper of a cold. My nose feels like it is made of solid concrete. And the rest of me feels quite like a wet rag. For the last two days I thought I was suffering from really bad allergies, but now I am sure it is a cold. My sister had it when we were in Turkey, I’m sure it’s the same one. Wow! The timing could not have been worse. Three days till the opening of our play called  “Buster!” We have 5 hour rehearsals every night and then the performances start. This takes an enormous amount of energy, as you have to be on your toes the whole time you are on stage, and for this Musical In Concert, it means the WHOLE 5 HOURS! Ugh! Did I say this was an awful time to get a cold? Well it is, all I want to do is stay in bed, with an icepack on my head, but no such luck. I’ll be there for the rehearsals, and OF COURSE for the performances, because gentle readers, the show must go on!

PS

Usually, as a person with bipolar disorder, I look forward to physical illnesses, lol, because you get so much more sympathy and understanding if you have the flu, for example, than if you have the depression (why are people in a depression and have the flu?), you don’t have to hide the fact that you have the flu, you just rest in bed, maybe get Tamiflu, and everyone understands, and you get better, and go on your merry way. No one tells you to be strong, to be positive, it’s all in your mind. BUT, this time I don’t have the luxury to be physically ill, as weird as that may sound… I have a play, OMG, I have to be ready to do this play. Maybe Dayquil will work, and none of the ingredients will make me manicky… might not be so bad, manicky might be good for on stage… ok I’m rambling, I’m done, going to bed…

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Friends

It’s the people, it’s the relationships that make the most difference in a life. It starts with loving supportive parents, then loving supportive friends and maybe even neighbors. Then it is friendly, supportive colleagues. And of course one of the most important relationships is with the person with whom you are going to spend the rest of your life, your significant other. If all these relationships are loving and supportive, then you have a great chance of succeeding (what does it mean to succeed? more on that later) in life. These relationships are so important. If you are in trouble and you have a web of family, friends, well family and friends, what else is there? then this web will catch you if you fall. If it is tightly knit, you won’t fall through. If you have a close relationship with your parents, then you can reach out to them, and if they are loving caring parents, they will help you to the utmost of their ability. That is what parents do, they help ensure their progeny survives. In evolutionary terms, the purpose of an organism is to pass on its DNA, and parents can do that by being loving, caring, supportive to their children, thereby assuring that their DNA is passed on. So there is an evolutionary argument, as in survival of the species, for being loving and nurturing. That is why maternal instinct exists, that is why babies are so adorable and lovable, because we are supposed to take care of them. Not only as a family, but collectively as a society and a species. I think anyone who doesn’t have these instincts is a sociopath, a seriously defective individual, who cannot participate in this loving, nurturing survival dance. But hopefully and luckily, even though our parents most likely weren’t perfect, they were not sociopaths either. So here we are, human beings who were hopefully given enough love to survive and flourish. And we in turn form attachments, and have a family, and have children, and we are loving and supportive to them, and the dance goes on.

Of course, a person with a mental illness fares better when they have support and love from their friends and families. Life is hard, you need friends and family. Life with a mental illness is harder still, you really need friends and family. And if you have a family circle and a social circle, then you will be surrounded with love and support and will fare better than if you are alone. Family and friends, loving, supporting each other, getting on each other’s nerves sometimes (haha) but definitely a necessity for a happy, well adjusted, loving life.

If you don’t have a lot of family, or if they’re not close by, no worries, good friends are just as loving and supportive as families can be. The saying “Good friends are the family you choose” is so true. My best friends are like my chosen sisters. And we have known each other since were in our teens. I am lucky to have these lengthy, close relationships even though I moved from Islamabad, Pakistan to Buffalo, NY just 10 days shy of my 12th birthday in 1972. I am lucky. I hope we are all as lucky!

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Words

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Some words that have the power to change your thinking, the power to pull you up by your bootstraps, the power to pull you out of the seemingly bottomless hole that is depression and anxiety:

RESILIENCE, that is what we have, what we are to recover over and over again from black depressions, from the mean reds. We get up over and over again and brush ourselves off and go on! How resilient is our spirit, how resilient are we! I marvel at this ability.

PLASTICITY, this is what our brains do in learning or after any experience. An experience leaves a mark on our brains, good or bad. But this is not permanent. Our brains have the ability to form new connections and lose old ones. This happens between neurons. Once it was thought that an adult brain is like a structure made of stone. There is nothing further from the truth, the brain is undergoing changes all the time, whether it be in repair, or neuronal cell growth or growth of axons and dendrites. This all makes our brain very adaptable and repairable and changeable! So if we have undergone bad experiences, our brain can recover from those through plasticity!

HOPE, well what can I say about this word? This is the little, four letter word my world rests on. It is so powerful that even in the darkest of circumstances, just say it and things will get brighter. Your heart will get lighter. You will breathe easier. Take it away and , oh no I can’t even fathom taking it away. Always have hope, as long as you live and breathe!

STRENGTH, we with mental illnesses all have to be strong. We go through hell so many times that the word hell sort of loses its meaning. My muscles are getting stronger because I have a FaceTime personal trainer and that is just fab. But my mind has to be strong, my heart has to be strong, my will has to strong to withstand this sick disease. We all do. And we all are, that is why we are still here. We are strong for our children, for our friends and loved ones and we are strong for ourselves!

OVERCOME, when I am in a very depressed state or manicky phase, I do have lucid moments when I tell myself that I will overcome this too, just like I have been doing since 1985, yes I will overcome.

and a sentence: THIS TOO SHALL PASS, everything passes, good, bad, indifferent things pass. So of course whatever phase you’re in, it will pass.

Take heart my friends and stand tall and strong, easier times are ahead. I am sure of it!

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German Co Pilot. Cringeworthy. Stigma. Even Though Most People With Mental Illness are NOT Violent.

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“Co-Pilot in Germanwings Crash Hid Mental Illness From Employer, Authorities Say” from NYTimes.com see link to article below.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/28/world/europe/germanwings-crash-andreas-lubitz.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

It is possible that the co pilot, Andreas Lubitz, at the controls of the Germanwings jetliner that recently crashed into the Alps had undisclosed mental illness. The authorities found notes in his apartment from several doctors that said he was too ill to work, including a note from the day of the crash. He had been seen at a German hospital and they released a statement saying he was there for diagnostic purposes. No one really knows what the nature of his illness was, but now everyone is speculating. If it was mental illness, was it depression? No suicide note was found. I suppose it is logical to assume that he did this because of his illness, and suppose that this illness was mental illness. But nothing has yet been found to completely support these ideas. If he did, indeed, do this because he wanted to commit suicide because he was in a depression, how awful! In so many ways. Of course, it’s tragic for the passengers’ families and the co pilot’s family as well. Then it is also really bad for the German airlines, perhaps all airlines, that they hired this man who apparently hid his medical records from them. After that, it is really bad for us, who have mental illnesses. Yes sadly this is possible, it can happen that a person with mental illness would do this sort of thing. This is the kind of thing that reinforces the stigma against people with mental illnesses. That mentally ill people are dangerous and violent and frightening. Yes, some are. But the vast majority of violent crimes are perpetrated by people who are NOT mentally ill.

See: http://depts.washington.edu/mhreport/facts_violence.php

In fact look at the whole google search I did here: https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=what%20percentage%20of%20mentally%20ill%20are%20dangerous

I understand other people’s fears. I understand that they are afraid of mental illness. But I also am a person with a mental illness, and know others who have it and I can’t think of anyone who has committed a violent crime. Yes, I know, it’s only anecdotal evidence, but please look at the google search I did to see that it really is true, that most mentally ill people are not violent, and also that most violent crimes are committed by people who are NOT mentally.

Aaah, this is cringeworthy indeed. I would be the happiest person on this earth if all mental illness was cured. But until that happens, please wait and see what the facts are before jumping to the conclusion, and it may well be true, that the pilot killed himself due to depression and took a 149 people with him. Heinous no matter why he did it.