The purpose, the reason, the aim.

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The purpose, the reason, the aim. What is it? Why am I here? I find myself asking these questions, mostly when I am veering toward the depressive side. Not the manic side, not the mixed side and not the anxious side, only the depressive side. Existential questions come up. Existential answers do not. Anyway, who asks these questions when they are busy and happy and well occupied? No one, that’s who. Who has time to ruminate when one is happy, productive, involved. The only time, besides some rollicking discussions with philosophers I know, I get too thoughtful is when my mind can’t stop nitpicking and over thinking everything. I am sure this happens to many people, but it probably happens more often to people with bipolar disorder.

Then what do you do? You can partake of some physical activity, such as walking in the woods, one of my favorites, or listen to some uplifting music, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony is one of mine, or read some poetry, perhaps Shakespeare, or even have a rousing conversation with a friend. Meditation may help. Just shake yourself out of the rumination, get back to the now and live your life.

That is really one of the saddest parts of having bipolar, it totally has the ability to stop you from living your life, from enjoying it, from savoring it, appreciating it. This disease is a robber, of happiness, of health, peace of mind, of life. But we have to be stealthier, more powerful than it, and live our lives happily, successfully, and contentedly.

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