Feeling awful at 1000’s of feet in the air…

 
Leo playing with his incredibly young grandma  lol

On my way from Buffalo yo Louisville. All of a sudden, as the plane ascends, I am experiencing plummeting moods. Believe me, I am thankful it is not the other way around, but leaving my son in Buffalo is always a heart rending process for me. He’s fine now, thank all the gods in heaven, I am generally fine in Louisville, but this separation from my son, every time it happens is heart breaking for me. I was just sitting at the gate and sobbing. Probably not a good idea in this climate of the “t-ism” word. I am sitting in my seat and feeling weepy, trying not to cry. I feel bad. Is this bipolar disorder? Is it over attachment to my son, my only son? Is it just worry about him, since we have been through so many trying things together? Is it simply missing him? It may be a combination of all of the things I mentioned. And writing about it is helping, putting things into perspective. He is fine, I will see him soon. I will see my friends in September. Buffalo still feels like my home. And we Cancer people are very attached to our homes. When I go there, I know it, there is my bank, my Wegmans, my friend’s house. The street I used to live off of. Sob. My university, the stores which were my favorites. Of course, my son is there, and I spend as much time with him as possible. His apartment is impeccable, I made sure of that 😊, we talked about his going to get an MA in American history, so he can teach Legal History. I played with Leonidas, such a sweet boy. I saw my friends. My  uncle. It was a wonderful visit. I should be happy. And I am. But leaving is the hardest, most heart breaking  part. 😞 Just wish so much we could all live together. In a family and friends colony… Sigh…

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