Just sitting here, thinking.


I should be in bed, with a bag of ice on my head, but I sit here, with a nauseating migraine, looking at the graceful remains of the thanksgiving flower bouquet that I had so lovingly arranged, still beautiful, in its languorously droopy way. I am on a self prescribed lithium holiday! With the blessings of my psychiatrist, yes, really.  Still on Seroquel. And don’t worry, I’ll go back on the necessary, yet difficult to swallow, lithium soon, very soon, tomorrow in fact. My right hand, which shakes like a leaf when I am on 900 mg of lithium, has finally started shaking like a flag in a mild breeze. Only my right hand has tremors, not my left hand, and yes, I am right handed. My friends remark on it with horrified eyes, I tell them this tremor is the least of my worries. I tell them they should peak into my quaking brain when I am in the midst of mania or depression. Unfortunately, this mostly passes by, unregistered,  un-understood. But I can’t really blame them, they, and how fortunate they are, have no frame of reference with which to understand my statement.

My mind is awhirl. Going to Buffalo tomorrow for my son’s birthday 🙂 He is 25 years old! I gave birth to him a quarter of a century ago! How did that even happen! My adorable, blue eyed baby turned into my handsome, loving, adored young man!

ARAL 5 mos and meAral, 5 months old!

Aralster and me!Aral, 24 years old!

Then, I’m going to Pakistan at the end of this month, I will be seeing my aunt and giving her all my love. Can’t believe it’s December already. How time just takes upon its wings and soars. And we are left standing, graying and wrinkling, in its dusty wake. Oh come now, you are alive, you are healthy, yes, healthy, you want for nothing, you have family and friends whom you love and are loved by in return! What more can you ask for?

Well, I have to go pack for my trip now. I’m hoping this unforeseen and thoroughly unwanted migraine takes flight soon, before I have to get on my flight.

6 thoughts on “Just sitting here, thinking.

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