Maybe I am just broken

img_6464This is a post by https://borderlinepersonalitydisorder99.wordpress.com

Just what I am feeling right now. Tired of trying to go on, always in pain, always a failure at everything I want to do, especially interpersonal relationships. Just very tired, and want to give up. Not asking for pity, please don’t feel any pity for me, just writing down my thoughts. I’ve never been diagnosed with borderline, but who knows, the sense of brokenness and hopelessness certainly is pretty pervasive in my heart. Sometimes more acute than others, but always there. Fight or Flight or panic mode, where I too live. Need to find a new home. These words hit very close to home:

“Who says I need to be fixed?

I suppose I do, really. Dancing over the shatterings of glass left after a childhood of abuse has proved not only painful, but that is the only footing I have. I cannot just walk away, unfortunately.

I suppose my hands can be fixed, but if I don’t use them to realign the pieces of my soul I will always be broken. “

Borderline Personality Disorder

Maybe it is time that I just accept that I am broken, that I can’t be fixed. I have tried for so long to put myself back together maybe it is time I just accepted ‘me’ the way I am and carried on with my broken and painful parts.

I have carried this pain for so long, blistered and sliced my fingers trying desperately to put the fractured parts of my soul back together maybe I should just give up. My coping mechanisms have gotten me this far, maybe I should carry on with them. Who says I need to be fixed?

I suppose I do, really. Dancing over the shatterings of glass left after a childhood of abuse has proved only painful, but that is the only footing I have. I cannot just walk away, unfortunately.

I suppose my hands can be fixed, but if I don’t use them…

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