I learnt a new breathing exercise for the times when it feels a literal elephant is stepping on your chest and your eyes are faucets on the full on position. This emotion has nothing to do with anything that is going on in the present. It is a gift of the past, it has been stored in my heart, in my brain, and now has unwrapped itself. The unwrapping may have been catalyzed by some events in the present, perhaps by some similarities my brain noticed in the present to the past. But the emotions belong wholly to the past, the abandoned little girl, with a broken heart, an abused little girl, with the broken body. These are the gifts my past has bestowed upon me. I have unwrapped the box and now must learn to dispose of them. That is what the therapy, breathing exercises, Heart Math, (and more yet to be discovered techniques from the internet,) with all these techniques and my will to dispose of this unwanted gift, this curse, these drama queen emotions, my will to mend this broken heart, mind, and body, I hope I will succeed.
I blame nothing and no one in the present for this suffering, I know full well, this is all from my past. For some reason, the pain came fully into my conscious mind at this moment in time.
The Breathing Exercise:
Put your tongue behind your upper teeth and exhale with a whoosh sound.
Inhale to a count of 4
Hold your breath for a count of 7
Exhale with a whoosh to a count of 8
Repeat 3 more time. Keep the tongue behind upper teeth.