Very odd, your mind is going a millions miles an hour, everything has become too difficult to handle, your are having crying jags, fighting with your siblings, what the hell is going on? Why are you feeling like this? Your son got his first job, and all you can think about are negative things in regard to this. Nothing looks good, anger, sadness, over thinking, all tumult, all overly emotional. And then it hits you, you are going into a manic phase or a mixed manic phase and all of a sudden you feel calm. You say: Oh my god, it’s the bipolar disorder acting up again! Now you know what’s going on, you can do something about it. Abandonment? Yes that is an issue in your psyche, BUT when all of a sudden you can’t get it out of your mind, and start feeling very sorry for yourself, then it is not the abandonment that is the issue, but your mood state.
I, in the last few days have experienced all this but now feel a lot better, simply because I suddenly realized: I’m not going crazy (haha) my bipolar disorder is acting up. Now I have increased my dose of lithium, and in a few days, I will feel much better. Once I realize that I am getting “sick” I can do something about it. I get the control back over my life. Instead of my emotions controlling me, I will soon be able to control them. Instead of every little thing becoming an insurmountable obstacle, I can navigate my world again.
Lithium, I love you. I am looking forward to not being the drama queen SOON!