Well the unthinkable has happened, at least for me and my ilk. We have a racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, hate mongering man as president elect, who will be appearing in court for child rape charges, fraud charges and racketeering charges, and who refused to release his taxes, a 40 year old tradition. All this was well known, yet people still voted for him. That’s a story for another time. My point here is what happens now? Do Hispanics get thrown out? Will there really be a wall built? Climate change control is surely out the window. Obamacare will be defunded. Goodbye keeping your children on your insurance plan till age 26 and goodbye for not being denied due to a preexisting condition.
The most important and frightening issue for me as a woman who comes from a Muslim family is what’s in store for me and my family? Will I have to wear yellow crescent badges to identify me as a Muslim even though I have been an atheist for more than 35 years? Concentration camps with trump’s followers doing the seig heil salute? If you think I’m being extreme, read up on how the holocaust started. Disgruntled Germans elected a man who promised them their dignity and economy back. They chose a group as scapegoats and off they went. Everyone concurred, no one said a thing. Is this to be the future of people from Muslim backgrounds? With the election of this white supremacist and every kind of …..ist man, what is going to happen to us? I have never felt unsafe here, I moved to the US in 1972, I was a child. Now I feel unsafe, threatened, not sure what to expect. This country has changed from the land of the free and the home of the brave to a country with a fascist, racist, sexist, narcissistic, sociopathic president who has the endorsement of the KKK and who is being prosecuted for the rape of a 13 year old girl among many other things. Also, totally incompetent people like Giuliani, Christie, and Gingrich are going to be part of his team, the IQ of the administration has dropped by at lest 200 points. How did everything become so upside down and backwards? How will it all turnout? I have always loved this country, the acceptance, the curiosity, the love, the helpfulness, the togetherness, the optimism, the science and technology. But now, I am Afraid, very afraid, unsettled, anxious.
Mental illness is such a waste of time! People are out there accomplishing brilliant things while I sit at home and cry. People are out walking, talking, working, creating, exploring while I sit at home and have anxiety and panic attacks. I had so many plans to do so many things, but since early September, everything has gone wrong. I’ve been in a mixed phase, meaning elements of both mania and depression either at the same time or alternating one after another are present. This one was not as severe as past ones have been, at least I can be thankful for that. But again, it has stolen my life, my time, my peace of mind, the faith that I am me and will always be me, the belief that I am capable of doing what I set out to do. In this state, I am not me, I cannot accomplish what I wanted to. It’s hellish, and intolerable.
