I sent my poem to Arianna Huffington on April 7th, asking if she would consider printing it. Then promptly forgot about it. On the 10th, I got a reply in which she said she would love to feature my…

Source: Introducing Yours Truly, a Huff Post Blogger!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/how-you-treat-someone-with-a-mental-illness_b_9704150.html

Here’s the link. Sorry I’m going to post all the links until my excitement wears off. I am just so darn tickled pink!

Dear Readers,

I am so excited!!! My first post has been published on Huff Post at the link blow. Please go there and if the spirit moves you to, by all means like it 🙂

Thank you,

Samina.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samina-raza/dont-ever-give-up_b_9701900.html

I sent my poem to Arianna Huffington on April 7th, asking if she would consider printing it. Then promptly forgot about it. On the 10th, I got a reply in which she said she would love to feature my voice on Huff Post, and that the blog editor will send me my username and password. And True to their word, they did and I just submitted my first post! The picture below is a preview. Hopefully it’ll appear on Huff Post in about a day. And if not, I’ll just submit more posts!

Well, what do you know? I’m a Huff Post Blogger! Thrilled and excited to bits!

http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/1827-fear-success.html?utm_source=s5_twitter_post&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=s5_79459Is 2012 the year you want to change your life, grow your business, start a business of your own? Retired Master Air Force Sergeant Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, AKA “The Pink Biker Chic,” thinks she knows how you can do it.

The leadership expert thinks the main things that keep people from growing and changing is fear. Knowing how to deal with fear is the key to keeping it from stopping you from achieving your dreams.
“One way to counteract fear’s adverse impact on your life and career is to recognize the type of fear that might be defining you and driving your actions – or lack thereof,” Lewis-Fernandez said. “In fact, there are many types of fears that will prevent you from achieving in both your personal and professional life.”
Lewis-Fernandez cites 11 common fears that hold people back from that which they desire both personally and professionally:
1. Fear of Success – This is actually a fear of achieving your dreams and standing out. Fear of the attention you will receive should you actually realize success. Yes, people might look at you, and talk about you, which can make you feel self-conscious. Sometimes, it’s the fear of taking the steps necessary to work toward your goal, or knowing what to do first when all seems daunting at the onset. We all have things we want to achieve in life but, by giving into this particular fear, you lose faith in yourself and your abilities, and also faith in those who truly have your best interest at heart and want to see you succeed. And, remember that even baby steps are forward momentum.
2. Fear of Leading – With leadership comes responsibility, and many are afraid of being responsible for an outcome that impacts not only themselves, but also the people they are guiding. This is where you need to trust your intuition to guide you and have faith that you will make the right decisions – the same faith others have instilled in you so they may follow.

3. Fear of Speaking – Many people fear public speaking more than any other activity. Speaking requires a palpable level of confidence and ability. In our lives and careers, we are sometimes required to present thoughts and ideas to others. Master this skill and you will command the attention and respect that you deserve and the successes will ensue.
4. Fear of Encroachment – Working in an environment with a gender-based stereotype has its own challenges and requires a high level of confidence in your abilities and a strong voice to be heard, and even supported, among others who may not regard you as a peer. If your desires are unconventional or non-traditional deep and stay true to who you are and what you want out of life.
5. Fear of Power – Power is your proverbial fuel source – where your inner strength emanates from, your passions burn bright. It’s the juice that allows you to keep going in the face of adversity. Without power, you simply cannot move forward amid life’s seemingly endless road blocks. For all of its importance, power is simply a mindset – a genuine, heartfelt belief that you can do anything you set your mind to. Start small, achieve, and savor it. Then confidently aim a little higher, achieve and revel in it. Before long, you’ll be powerful enough to shoot for the stars.
6. Fear of Inadequacy – Feelings of inadequacy can come from inherent low self-esteem or past negative life experiences. If someone has told you that you couldn’t do something or shamed you into believing you weren’t capable of doing something well enough you may carry that feeling of ineptitude and not even realize it. This subconscious stronghold can be truly debilitating. The best defense against a fear of inadequacy is to learn and master the specific skill, subject or activity in question and, in doing so, you will become self-assured in your execution.
7. Fear of Failure – All too often we stop short of attempting something new for fear we might embarrass our self or, worse, fail all together. Any given undertaking has the possibility of resulting in failure, which is never a desirable or welcome outcome. Indeed, failure is part of the road toward success and should not be feared but embraced as an opportunity for growth.
8. Fear of Compromising Integrity – Integrity means doing the right thing even when no one is looking or will ultimately know. Many fear that, in order to be successful in a career, we have to compromise our integrity and go against what we believe to be right. Overcoming this concern requires nothing more than establishing a specific set of boundaries within yourself and knowing exactly where and when you will draw the line – and sticking steadfast to that plan of action.
9. Fear of Vulnerability – While it can be uncomfortable and downright scary to open yourself up and expose your true inner self and your ideas and aspirations to others of importance in your life, doing so can be cathartic and a true turning point in effecting positive change. Letting down your guard takes courage and strength, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable can help you better relate with people on a more intimate and personal level.
10. Fear of Being Alone – Many people stay in abusive relationships or negative career situations because they are afraid of being alone, breaking away from the pack, or being isolated from a situation and people they once valued. It’s impossible to be completely content in life if you are uncomfortable being by yourself, or if your positive frame-of-mind is contingent on anyone or anything else – whether personal relationships or professional affiliations. Such co-dependency allows your attempts at happiness and success to be controlled by external third parties, which will rarely bear optimal results.
11. Fear of Appearing Selfish – For some, it feels selfish to do anything for themselves so, instead, they do for everybody else and either burn out, harbor feelings of resentment or both. To neglect your own needs and focus solely on those of others can make you feel overwhelmed, stressed out, under pressure and weighed down. However, taking care of your needs first is not a selfish luxury, but rather a psychological imperative to ensure you’re emotionally nourished in your own right. Only then should you tend to the needs of others, which should be in addition to and not in lieu of.

A genius article about boundaries, how to set them, and how to hold them. As a person whose boundaries were crossed at a very young age, I didn’t know what they were for a very long time. But I know now and I have known for some time now, and this article really makes it very simple about what your boundaries are, how to set them, and then how to follow through if someone crosses them. Also, a very good point it makes is before cutting someone off, make sure your boundaries are clear, make them clear before you cut someone out of your life, that way you don’t have to sacrifice relationships that may have been saved, and may actually have been good! Like I said, genius!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/constructive-wallowing/201604/3-essential-ways-protect-your-personal-boundaries?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

https://cm.g.doubleclick.net/push?client=ca-pub-3406605080325507If you let violations slide, they will only keep happening!

https://cm.g.doubleclick.net/push?client=ca-pub-3406605080325507https://cm.g.doubleclick.net/push?client=ca-pub-3406605080325507https://cm.g.doubleclick.net/push?client=ca-pub-3406605080325507How often have you set a boundary, only to have friends or family refuse to respect it? It’s frustrating when others don’t respect your boundaries, but don’t give up. Here’s the secret: Don’t expect others to hold your boundaries for you. It’s no one’s job but yours. The U.S. doesn’t just draw a line in the sand and ask people from other countries to respect it. There are border guards in place, and they stop anyone who tries to enter without permission.

In order to have others respect your boundaries, you have to actively protect them. There’s no substitute for this, and picking the right people to hang around with won’t relieve you of this responsibility. But if you do all of the following, you’ll have a much easier time not only of holding your boundaries, but earning the respect you’re looking for.

1. Get clear on what your boundaries are. As an adult, you get to make your own rules for how you live your life. There’s a lot of room for different people to set different boundaries around all kinds of things. But each of us needs to know and respect our own rules. If you’re not sure whether it’s okay with you to drive someone to the airport all the time, how can you expect them to know whether it’s okay with you?

You don’t have to figure everything out case by case: Think about your boundaries in broad strokes and get clarity ahead of time, before you’re presented with a situation where you might need them. Here are some areas to consider:

• Money: How much (if any) will you lend, and to whom?
• Possessions: Do you let others borrow your stuff? If so, which stuff? And who gets to borrow it, and for how long?
• Information: Which areas of your life are private, and from whom are they private?
• Space: How close is too close?
• Time: What do you say No to when it comes to scheduling your time?
• Emotions: You’re allowed to feel the way you do, even if someone else thinks you’re being oversensitive or even irrational.

It’s okay to set different boundaries with different people: Maybe you’ll lend money to your brother but not your sister, or vice versa. It’s also okay if someone else doesn’t understand why you set the boundaries you set. They don’t have to; they just have to know what the boundaries are.

2. Communicate boundaries clearly and directly. Your boundaries don’t have to be the same with everyone, but you have a responsibility to make them clear to the person involved. For some people, a hint may be more than enough. For instance, a well-meaning acquaintance asks a question that’s a little too personal, so you reply, “Why do you ask?” The person takes the hint, drops the subject, and a potential boundary violation is averted with very little fuss.

But if you find yourself resenting people who don’t take the hint, it’s a sign that you’re falling down on this task.

Remember: It’s your job to make sure your boundaries are communicated to other people. It’s no one else’s job to figure out what you want. Here are some examples of clear communication around boundaries:

• “I’m not comfortable with that.”
• “I’d rather not talk about that.”
• “I’m not willing to do that.”
• “No.”
• “Please don’t ask me about that again. I told you last time you asked that I’d rather not talk about it.”

If you state a boundary and someone asks you about it, you don’t need to justify it:

“I’m a vegetarian.”
“Why?”
“I just am.”

“I’ll go to the beach with you, but I’m not going into the water.”
“Why not?
“Because I don’t want to.”

You don’t have to justify your boundaries to anyone.

3. Don’t let boundary violations slide. Here’s where the going gets tough. When your boundaries are crossed, you must respond. Just as border guards don’t stand by and watch while people stroll across the border, don’t stand back and do nothing when a boundary of yours is crossed, or passively fume, “They should know better.”

If you tell someone you’ll wait for them for 15 minutes, and you’re still there when they show up 30 minutes after that, you’ve failed to respond to a boundary crossing. You might be angry with them for being late, but you’re the one who set a boundary of 15 minutes and then didn’t protect it. If it’s not realistic to give them only 15 minutes, then don’t set that boundary in the first place.

Also, only make rules you’re willing to enforce. If you lend someone money and tell them they must pay you back within a week, then you’ve set a boundary. If they don’t pay you back within a week and you lend them money again after that, you’ve failed to respond to that boundary crossing.

It’s common to resent people when they cross boundaries, but resentment comes from helplessness. Cutting people out of your life, while occasionally necessary, is often done prematurely in the mistaken belief that there are no other options. But breaking away from certain individuals won’t help you get better at defending your boundaries. Make sure you’ve done your own work before giving up on others.

You’re not helpless in the face of boundary crossings. You were helpless when you were a child if someone violated your boundaries, but you’re an adult now, with options and recourse. You’re responsible for protecting yourself.

Take the time to know your own boundaries, state them directly to those involved, and protect them with your actions. If you do those three things you’ll take greater control of your life by attaining an appropriate level of power and earning respect in all your relationships.

My good FB friend, Sal asked me to do a post about what mentally ill people need from our friends when we are in our ill phases.

A very good subject and I will discuss it as sincerely as I can.

Sal pointed out that when someone is in the hospital for a physical illness, people visit, they send flowers, it’s generally acknowledged that this person is ill. There is no “Hush, hush, don’t tell anyone about this” going on. In my experience, except for my very devoted boyfriend (now my husband) and my family, no one came to visit me in the hospital. My aunts sent me flowers the first time I was hospitalized. It certainly wasn’t as it would have been if I’d gone in for an appendectomy, many of my friends may have visited, many more would have called, and a few may even have sent flowers, chocolates…

Lets ask why it is that things are different in the case of a mental illness. Why? Well if you’re getting an appendectomy, your personality doesn’t really change, you may be grouchy and a bit frightened, but you are still you. When you are in some phases of bipolar d/o or many times in schizophrenia, you might be the queen of the Amazon, you might also have the cure to cancer and have evil people trying to kill you to get your cancer cure and take credit for it. In short, your personality does change, and the things you say don’t make sense, that makes your friends and others uncomfortable. I understand. If someone I know is very drunk and incoherent, making no sense at all, I cannot speak to them. I know they are making no sense, I know there brain on alcohol is not functioning properly, I know that the next day they won’t have any recollection of this strange and weird interaction with me. So I just walk away, unless they need help, then I try and help them.

So, perhaps, like a drunk person whom I don’t take seriously, my friends, and even my family, don’t really know what to do with me when I am in a severe manic phase and witches from Eastern Europe are trying to destroy my heart with black magic…

In this case, the only thing that helps is to go see my doctor, and increase medication doses so my brain pulls out of mania. Twice in my life the mania was so severe that I was out of touch with reality and I had to be hospitalized, and needed to say in the hospital (30 days, first time and 10 days second time) to get back down to earth and be and function normally.

So friends if you notice your good friend acting erratically, being overly emotional, talking about fantasies as if they were absolutely real, please encourage them to call their doctor. It is at this point that they have lost their insight and have no idea they are not in touch with reality. So, noticing this, as a friend, if you suggest to your ill friend that they call the doctor, this may be just the thing they need. Perhaps even call their doctor on their behalf (don’t know if this will work with all the privacy laws, but try anyway.) What your friend needs now is love, sweet love, yes to be sure, but also medical treatment, perhaps hospitalization to get better.

If your friend is in the hospital (psychiatric unit,) visiting them in visiting hours, and flowers, little gifts would be very welcome, just as with anyone in the hospital.

I know when depression strikes me, I become overly emotional, all dark emotions, thinking I am unworthy, unlovable, useless… If my friends tell me that I am wrong in my thinking, if they point out all the wonderful things I’ve done, all the great ways I am… that all helps, for a while, but depression is relentless, and it will steal your soul. So once again, support, love, understanding (to a degree) is very valuable to the depressed person, but the most important thing is to get them to contact their doctor. The depressed person needs medical intervention, a change in their medicines, or doses.

Just like you cannot cure diabetes with love and affection and understanding and support, you cannot make a person who is in a severe phase of bipolar d/o better with love, affection, and understanding and support.

Please don’t misunderstand me, love, affection, understanding, and support are all extremely valuable and very desirable things when someone is ill, physically or mentally. Since understanding is often times lacking about mental illness, since it is difficult to know what is going on in the heads of friends who have a mental illness, patience is also a great virtue. If you try to help someone, and because of their state of mind at the time, they cannot accept your help, be patient, and you never know, the next time you try to help them, they may be very open to and grateful for your help.

So of course love, understanding, acceptance, affection, support, compassion, and most of all patience, are all needed in dealing with friends who are in varying degrees of phases of a mental illness.  Compassion is big, the ability to feel or at least try to feel what your ill friend is feeling, walking in their shoes so to speak, will give our friends insight into what the mentally ill person is experiencing. And compassion is not pity, we don’t want your pity, we do and surely could use your compassion!  And of course, also encouraging them to contact their doctor is of paramount importance.

One last thing is don’t get involved with their delusions, for example when I thought the witch was trying to destroy my heart with black magic, and I told you this, do not become a part of the delusion by telling me you will help me fight the witch. But arguing with me in that phase would have been useless, perhaps empathetically discussing my delusional beliefs would be the thing to do. Saying something like “I understand how frightening this may be, (bait and switch hahaha) how about you give your doctor a call and see if he can help…”

The thing with me was that even in the full blown manic phase, I cycled through mania/normal/depressed phases 3-4 times a day. And when I was in my normal phase, I would say to myself and my family “It’s happening again, I’m going out of touch with reality again!” So I knew, for parts of the day that it was happening again and that both times, I needed to be hospitalized. So in my normal phase, I actually would have agreed with you and indeed would have called my doctor, and I did call my doctor and tell them what was happening and asked for hospitalization, especially the 2nd time.

I hope this helps.

Love and hugs to all my family/friends/readers.

Caveat: People who are at risk of developing schizophrenia and bipolar disorder should stay away from hallucinogenics as they can unmask these illnesses.

Fascinating article about what happens to the brain/mind on LSD. Reminds me of Beatles’ songs. Also, even Cary Grant had taken LSD while in therapy and had gotten real benefits from it. One caveat, people who are at risk of developing schizophrenia and bipolar disorder should stay away from hallucinogenics as they can unmask these illnesses. But for the rest, this may be a good way to experience being, as part of psychotherapy. I’ve never taken any of these substances as I always want to keep a hold on reality as tightly as I can, especially as I have lost that hold in 2 or 3 full blown manic phases. Also there is the real and frightening question of a bad trip. But all in all, this may help with therapy and in bringing about that sense of oneness that would surely help our beleaguered world. Lucy in the sky with diamonds anyone?

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/04/13/474071268/how-lsd-makes-your-brain-one-with-the-universe?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160413 
Some users of LSD say one of the most profound parts of the experience is a deep oneness with the universe. The hallucinogenic drug might be causing this by blurring boundaries in the brain, too.
The sensation that the boundaries between yourself and the world around you are erasing correlates to changes in brain connectivity while on LSD, according to a study published Wednesday in Current Biology. Scientists gave 15 volunteers either a drop of acid or a placebo and slid them into an MRI scanner to monitor brain activity.
After about an hour, when the high begins peaking, the brains on acid looked markedly different than those on the placebo. For those on LSD, activity in certain areas of their brain, particularly areas rich in neurons associated with serotonin, ramped up.
Their sensory cortices, which process sensations like sight and touch, became far more connected than usual to the frontal parietal network, which is involved with our sense of self. “The stronger that communication, the stronger the experience of the dissolution [of self],” says Enzo Tagliazucchi, the lead author and a researcher at the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience.
Tagliazucchi speculates that what’s happening is a confusion of information. Your brain on acid, flooded with signals crisscrossing between these regions, begins muddling the things you see, feel, taste or hear around you with you. This can create the perception that you and, say, the pizza you’re eating are no longer separate entities. You are the pizza and the world beyond the windowsill. You are the church and the tree and the hill.
Albert Hofmann, the discoverer of LSD, described this in his book LSD: My Problem Child. “A portion of the self overflows into the outer world, into objects, which begin to live, to have another, a deeper meaning,” he wrote. He felt the world would be a better place if more people understood this. “What is needed today is a fundamental re-experience of the oneness of all living things.”
The sensation is neurologically similar to synesthesia, Tagliazucchi thinks. “In synesthesia, you mix up sensory modalities. You can feel the color of a sound or smell the sound. This happens in LSD too,” Tagliazucchi says. “And ego dissolution is a form of synesthesia, but it’s a synesthesia of areas of brain with consciousness of self and the external environment. You lose track of which is which.”
Tagliazucchi and other researchers also measured the volunteers’ brain electrical activity with another device. Our brains normally generate a regular rhythm of electrical activity called the alpha rhythm which links to our brain’s ability to suppress irrelevant activity. But in a different paper published on Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, he and several co-authors show that LSD weakens the alpha rhythm. He thinks this weakening could make the hallucinations seem more real.
The idea is intriguing if still somewhat speculative, says Dr. Charles Grob, a psychiatrist at the Harbor-UCLA Medical Center who was not involved with the work. “They may genuinely be on to something. This should really further our understanding of the brain and consciousness.” And, he says, the work highlights hallucinogens’ powerful therapeutic potential.
The altered state of reality that comes with psychedelics might enhance psychotherapy, Grob thinks. “Hallucinogens are a catalyst,” he says. “In well-prepared subjects, you might elicit powerful, altered states of consciousness. [That] has been predicative of positive therapeutic outcomes.”
In recent years, psychedelics have been trickling their way back to psychiatric research. LSD was considered a good candidate for psychiatric treatment until 1966, when it was outlawed and became very difficult to obtain for study. Grob has done work testing the treatment potential of psilocybin, the active compound in hallucinogenic mushrooms.
He imagines a future where psychedelics are commonly used to treat a range of conditions. “[There could] be a peaceful room attractively fixed up with nice paintings, objects to look at, fresh flowers, a chair or recliner for the patient and two therapists in the room,” he muses. “A safe container for that individual as they explore deep inner space, inner terrain.”
Grob believes the right candidate would benefit greatly from LSD or other hallucinogen therapy, though he cautions that bad experiences can still happen for some on the drugs. Those who are at risk for schizophrenia may want to avoid psychedelics, Tagliazucchi says. “There has been evidence saying what could happen is LSD could trigger the disease and turn it into full-fledged schizophrenia,” he says. “There is a lot of debate around this. It’s an open topic.”
Tagliazucchi thinks that this particular ability of psychedelics to evoke a sense of dissolution of self and unity with the external environment has already helped some patients. “Psilocybin has been used to treat anxiety with terminal cancer patients,” he says. “One reason why they felt so good after treatment is the ego dissolution is they become part of something larger: the universe. This led them to a new perspective on their death.”

This is a documentary video (link below) about bipolar disorder featuring Patty Duke.

So funny, the title, I so relate to it! (While not this baby tiger in the picture with me, she was adorable, though she did have big teeth and claws, even at 11 weeks of age!). I’d written a poem in the midst of a mixed manic episode that was called “Tiger.” In fact it’s posted here on my blog here: https://bipolar1blog.wordpress.com/2014/08/03/tiger-again-in-manic-phase/
In this poem I’d likened my mixed manic phase as a tiger having me by the throat and thrashing me around. That’s exactly what it felt like, when I was in that mixed phase. No control over my emotions, the intensity of the emotions being seemingly lethal and astronomical. I still remember what that felt like. And I am eternally grateful that since I have been on an adequate dose of lithium and totally off SSRI’s, I no longer have that intolerable intensity of uncontrolled emotions. Whew! Maybe there’s a benevolent god after all!  Sorry for being all over the place here, I had a glass of wine with dinner, makes me happy, although doesn’t really mix with my meds that well… oh well…

http://www.pbs.org/video/2365704401/

Nearly six million Americans have been diagnosed with the disorder and yet so little is known about how the illness manifests itself in our brains. Ride the Tiger is a one-hour documentary that tells the stories of highly accomplished individuals who have been diagnosed as bipolar. (Of course I would say they’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Note from Samina)