You might have noticed I am on a “Love or Fear” kick. After facing my own demons, after having lived in fear for so many years, I want to welcome love into my life. I think if I can become more loving, and live out of love, not fear, I will not only live a positive, happy, love filled life, but I may well be the light that guides other people who are lost in the craggy, dark forests of fear as I was.

This post below is brilliant. Really, if we can read this daily, and live only from the LOVE column, wow, just think what you could become, what I could become, what we and the world could become!

With all my love.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/love-versus-fear/

LOVE Versus Fear

Yoga, Sufism, Buddhism, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Christ teach about love. All these great philosophies and teachers say there are only two ways to live our lives. One is in fear of everything, the other is in love of everything. I think everyone understands what living in fear means, but not everyone knows what I mean by living in love of everything. So I’ll explain. It’s not just romantic love, although that’s included of course. But what I am talking about here is “out of love.” Your heart is full of love for all beings, and all things. Even when you encounter something “bad,” you act out of the love in your heart. You never say to a child who is unhappy, perhaps needlessly according to you, “If you don’t stop, I’ll really give you something to cry about.” You act with the love in your heart and try to make things better for this child, for your friends, your neighbors, dare I say the world. Living in fear, in avarice, in lack has brought us to where we are at this stage in the world’s life. Living in fear. Not living in love, or gratitude, or inner peace or the sense of having enough. Living in fear. If this happens, I will die. If this doesn’t happen, I will die, this is fear. I’ll be fine no matter what happens: Love! Love for yourself, love and trust, not fear.

All the negative things come from fear, like greed, violence, hate, unkindness, depression, anxiety, guilt and judgment.

All the positive things come from love, like nurturance, care, generosity, passion, excitement, acceptance, joy, peace, serenity, and acceptance.

Just look at these lists, think of the emotions each of those words connotes and ask yourself what would you be feeling right now.

When we live in fear, we close ourselves up against the world. We are, well, we are afraid. We act as if something is after us, our belongings, so we act out of that fear and we act hatefully or violently or judgmentally.

When we act out of love, we are open to the world and all its experiences, therefore we act kindly, joyously, serenely, and generously.

Living in fear, we live like we have nothing, we want more and more. We are not generous or kind hearted. Our hearts are closed to the suffering of humanity, to the suffering of children, of innocent little animals.

Living out of love, our hearts are wide open, we feel as if we have everything we could possibly need and se we are generous, kind, patient, and yes loving to all people, animals, even plants.

So, if there are only only two emotions in the world, and you can only act out of one of them, which would you choose? And yes, it most certainly is a choice you make. It’s not random, no one else chooses for you, you make the choice. Which would you choose?

So, I have met the demons from my life and faced them square on. I have learnt about my inner child, about reparenting, about basically getting over my PTSD from the past, and about desensitizing my fight or flight response, basically about moving on and living my life in a happy, enjoyable, productive way. When one has been through trauma like I have, one’s fight or flight response is activated by things that a normal person’s would never be. Normally, a fight or flight response is elicited when someone is in mortal danger, such as if a lion is about to sink its teeth into them. People like me, who’ve had trauma as children, and who have lived in conditions that seemed like life or death to a child, well our fight or flight is elicited by much less serious occurrences. We react to much less severe things like someone else would to life threatening things. The thing to do for us is to desensitize our fight or flight. So we don’t try to use a bazooka to kill a fly, we need to calm down and remember we have a fly swatter! Basically, I need to calm down, meditation, yoga, exercise, music, “talking to my inner child”, whatever it takes to not get the bazooka out unless I really am faced with a lion. And even then, I, the real me, would hate to kill a lion. Oooops, I’m rambling, but I hope you know what I mean 🙂

So, all these things have happened in the past few weeks. Have all my problems evaporated? No. Am I stronger and more capable of handling my issues and my life? Yes, yes I am. I was always strong, but now I choose to move on from the past, it happened, it wasn’t very pretty, but it is over, and I am ready to live my life without its shadow blocking out the sun.

So there it is and here we go, living life, laughing, celebrating that we are alive!

Ok first of all, sorry, but I have to say this, is Dr. Yatham the Indian cousin of (ugh) Donald Trump? Wow excellent combover, Lakshmi!

Alright, got that out of my system, lets get on to business, in this study they say that patients with bipolar 1 who stayed on mood stabilizers (lithium or Valproate) and antipsychotics (risperidone or olanzapine) for over a year did no better than patients who only stayed on the medications for 24 weeks. These are typical antipsychotics. They have severe side effects like bad weight gain and tardive dyskenisia, normally these antipsychotics are prescribed for schizoaffective disorder and schizophrenia as well.

“beyond six months of use, those taking risperidone experienced manic or depressive episodes as frequently as the placebo group. Those taking olanzapine, on the other hand, had the fewest episodes when using the medication over a whole year rather than stopping use after 24 weeks, making the year-long treatment most effective for that drug. Risperidone tended to delay mania, while olanzapine tended to delay depression.”

My personal experience: taking 900 mg/day of Lithium Carbonate ER, and 100 mg of Quetiapine Fumarate has kept me stable for over a year now. That is, mood-wise. Of course the childhood abandonment and abuse issues are no picnic, none at all, they are unpleasant, painful, not any fun! But if I hadn’t been stable mood-wise, I would not have been able to tackle these. And time it is, to tackle these.

So gratitude and love and laughter for all.

https://bbrfoundation.org/brain-matters-discoveries/antipsychotic-treatment-for-bipolar-disorder-not-always-effective-after

Lakshmi N. Yatham, M.D.

Some antipsychotic medicines commonly used to treat a type of bipolar disorder may not have clear benefits after six months of use, researchers have found.

There are different types of bipolar disorder. Bipolar I — what most people associate with the illness — is characterized by periods of mania (intense elevated mood, increased energy and speed of thinking, reduced sleep etc) and severedepression (low mood, no interest or motivation, lack of pleasure, suicidal thoughts etc) . This new study is the first to compare the effectiveness of certain antipsychotics in treating this type of bipolar disorder longer-term, following a period of mania.

Publishing their findings online October 13 in Molecular Psychiatry, the research team was led by Lakshmi N. Yatham, M.D., of the University of British Columbia, a 1996 NARSAD Young Investigator (YI) grantee who went on to receive Independent Investigator (II) grants in 1999 and 2003.

The study focused on people with Bipolar I being treated with a combination of an antipsychotic (risperidone or olanzapine) and a mood stabilizer (lithium or valproate). The patients enrolled in the study had recently experienced manic episodes. To compare how the antipsychotics worked over long periods, some patients continued on whichever antipsychotic they were already taking, for another six months or one year in conjunction with lithium or valproate. Others, serving as controls, took placebos (or dummy pills) instead of antipsychotics along with lithium or valproate. Then, the three groups were compared: How long did it take before each patient experienced another depressive or manic episode?

Overall, the researchers found, patients were less likely to have a mood episode if they continued on antipsychotics for 24 weeks rather than taking placebos . However, the benefits of continuing antipsychotics beyond 24 weeks were not apparent as the proportion of patients that had a mood episode was not different between 24 and 52 groups.

The team noted that extended use of both antipsychotics was accompanied by weight gain in patients — clinically significant weight gain on olanzapine in 35% of patients after a year of use, and some weight gain in 15%-17% of patients on risperidone with any length of use. This suggests that the relief provided by these drugs should be considered against the potential for significant weight gain.

The researchers also observed some differences between the two types of antipsychotics as regards their longer-term usefulness, and the types of mood episodes each antipsychotic medicine helped to prevent , although they caution that these findings must be considered preliminary . For instance, beyond six months of use, those taking risperidone experienced manic or depressive episodes as frequently as the placebo group. Those taking olanzapine, on the other hand, had the fewest episodes when using the medication over a whole year rather than stopping use after 24 weeks, making the year-long treatment most effective for that drug. Risperidone tended to delay mania, while olanzapine tended to delay depression. To unpack the effects of different treatments, the researchers say, future work should examine other types of antipsychotics as well as non-antipsychotic treatments like psychotherapy, and do so in a larger patient group.