Concussion, I thank you!

pink lilyBuff Erie Co Bot Gardens.December 6, 1990

The day my son was born, the happiest day of my life!


There is a positive to having had this concussion for me. What? You may exclaim: What are you talking about!? How can whacking your head against rock hard ice and having your brain hit your skull, how can there be a positive in that?

Well, my answer to that would be: Endorphins!

With bipolar disorder, one has anxiety, one is depressed, one is manicky, in short there is no peace of mind.

When (I’m sure) my brain produced the endorphins (our brain produces these, our natural pain killers) after the concussion, et voilá, peace! My mind stopped chattering, the anxiety was gone, the ruminating thoughts disappeared. And miraculously, all was well. Nothing had changed in my life, only my brain was processing things differently! Everything was fine, no matter what, I was fine with it all. There was peace in my mind and my heart, my stomach was not tied up in knots. All was well with the world and everyone in it. My anxiety and depression were gone.

This is the gift that my concussion gave me. It reminded me that this kind of peace of mind was possible. Unfortunately, with bipolar d/o, it is rare to have this kind of mental wellness. No matter what was happening in the world externally, I was fine with it, I was at peace. I can still invoke that feeling to some extent, I can still remind myself that it is possible to feel this way, no matter what!

So thank you concussion, for reminding me that this “blissful” state was possible for me, no matter what was going on in my life!