Sort of consumed by fear. And anxiety. Trying to tell myself that all is well. All will be well. Fear and anxiety is all for the future. What will happen? Will everything be okay? Will my loved ones be fine? Only time will tell, but in the meantime, am being devoured by dread and panic and colossal amounts of fear. Is this depression? Usually in the summer I do go into a depression. But I don’t think this is only depression. It is being a mother who is far away from her child, and at this moment the future is unknown for her child. Education is finished and the start of “real” life is in the process. In my mind it is imperative that the start of this very real life be a “successful” one, whatever that means… Of course my son is responsible for his own life from here on out, he is responsible for the choices he makes, and of course he is allowed to make mistakes. Just so difficult to live with uncertainty, I am sure the tragedies that have happened in my past do nothing to make this unsure time any easier. Of course I am responsible for my own emotions, must not push them onto my son. But I’m telling you, this is not an easy time for me. Smh. Does it ever get any easier, or do you forever carry the past in your heart? Forever worry about what can happen? Going to visit my son again, and hoping for good things. Everything will be fine, I’m sure, I just have to get a handle on my anxious thoughts and heart.
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Gene hunters find rare inherited mutations linked to bipolar disorder
84 potential mutations, which are rare, seen in the most severe form of bipolar disorder, though not a single one is indicative of the disease. Well at least they are continuously working on the genetics of this illness, so there is the hope for more information and possibly a new treatment and the picture of the DNA gel is nice!
DNA sequening fingerprint. Credit: FreeImages.com / Flavio Takemoto
Using so-called next-generation genome sequencing, researchers at Johns Hopkins have identified 84 potential inherited gene mutations that may contribute to the most severe forms of bipolar disorder. About 5.6 million Americans are estimated to have bipolar disorder.
The investigators say their study is one of the first of rare genetic variations in people with bipolar disorder, which, in contrast to most previous studies of common variation, can provide a more direct insight into the biology underlying the susceptibility to bipolar disorder.
See Also: MRI scan sensitive to metabolic changes reveals brain differences in bipolar disorder
And the report on the work published in JAMA Psychiatry, led by Fernando Goes, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, affirms the need for DNA from a vast patient population to definitively confirm the role of rare mutations identified using the most advanced genome sequencing techniques.
“One thing we learned is that it will take genetic data from at least several thousand more people with bipolar disorder to confirm that these rare mutations do in fact directly cause the disease,” says Goes. “We are working with the Bipolar Sequencing Consortium to gather more data and collaborators so we can definitively figure out causes.”
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness characterized by periods of alternating episodes of severe depression and ecstatic mania, with the anguished person trying for a happy medium in the swinging pendulum of high and low moods.
Goes says some early genetic studies looking into the cause of the disease used genomewide association studies to search for common, single-letter DNA changes that individually turned out to have very small effects but, in combination, can explain a small proportion of the risk for bipolar disorder. Goes’ team used newer gene sequencing technology that instead can read millions of pieces of DNA at the same time to find even rarer genetic mutations that are rare but may have a more severe effect.
Initially, Goes’ team looked at eight families with a history of bipolar disorder through several generations, likely indicating a significant inherited component. Ultimately, the investigators sequenced the whole genomes of 36 family members with the disease. Examining only the portion of the genome that acts as protein blueprints, they identified 84 rare gene variations that stood out in these family members.
To further the case that these 84 variations were connected to the disease, they compared them to versions of the same genes found in 3,541 people with bipolar disease and 4,774 controls without the disease. Although many of these genetic variations were found to be overrepresented in the bipolar cases, the researchers caution that the data weren’t powerful enough to show that any specific mutation among the 84 rare mutations directly causes bipolar disorder, noting that patient sample sizes likely in excess of 10,000 cases will be necessary to pinpoint rare mutations within a specific gene. The study did find evidence that genes from this study had previously been implicated in other psychiatric disorders, such as autism and schizophrenia, which provides additional support for the overlap of autism and schizophrenia risk genes with risk genes in families with bipolar disorder.
Learn More: Changes in brain connectivity protect against developing bipolar disorder
“Once we can confirm that these rare mutations are associated with bipolar disorder in other samples, our plan will then be to integrate them with the more subtle, common mutations from the earlier genomic studies to better understand the cause of bipolar disorder,” says Goes.
According to the World Health Organization, bipolar disorder overall affects more than 60 million people worldwide and about 2.6 percent of adults in the U.S.
Feeling bad? Do this!
Zumba! Literally one of the best antidepressants there is! And no side effects! And honey, my hips don’t lie! Haha.
My fabulous Zumba instructor can be found here: http://ivonneo.zumba.com
“Coping With This: Mental Health, Our Story, Our Fight”
This is a beautiful website of my young friend Doug Leddin (interviewed here: https://bipolar1blog.com/2016/04/24/doug-leddin-interviewed-by-samina-raza/)
Here’s the video that took so much courage to admit to the world what he’d been going through, and that launched him into the limelight, and made him a mental health advocate!
The website below, is visually stunning, but much more than that, it is his story, our story of mental illness, hopefully progressing to Mental Health. Even with all the one steps forwards and two steps, we make progress.
Take a look, bloggers, a read, a perusal! It’s totally worth it!
http://copingwiththis.com/
Rumi
I prayed for change, so I changed my mind.
I prayed for guidance and learned to trust myself.
I prayed for happiness and realized I am not my ego.
I prayed for peace and learned to accept others unconditionally.
I prayed for abundance and realized my doubt kept it out.
I prayed for wealth and realized it is my health.
I prayed for a miracle and realized I am the miracle.
I prayed for a soul mate and realized I am the One.
I prayed for love and realized it’s always knocking, but I have to allow it in.
Cognition and White Matter Alterations in Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder
Basically what this study is saying is in terms of the parameters they looked at [fractional anisotropy (FA) measures connectivity in the brain, number of fiber tracts (NofT), tract length (Le), and tract volume (vol)] people who had bipolar disorder were much closer to normal controls than people who had schizophrenia. That is, there is much less damage in the brain of people who have bipolar disorder and bipolar disorder is a much less severe illness than schizophrenia. Something I am acutely aware of and so thankful that if I had to have one of the two, at least I have the less severe one. Something about bipolar disorder for which to be thankful for a change. Nothing is perfect, but neither is it as bad as it could be…
According to new findings, published in Journal of Affective Disorders by investigators affiliated with Goethe University in Germany, Cardiff University in the United Kingdom, and Federal University of Ceará in Brazil, white matter, microstructural changes in the fornix are associated with cognitive ability in patients diagnosed with schizophrenia but not in those individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are characterized by significant genetic overlap, as well as significant overlap in the presentation of clinical symptoms. Brain white matter abnormalities are known to exist in patients diagnosed with psychosis, but until now, the direct comparison of white matter changes between individuals with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder has not been performed. According to new findings, published in Journal of Affective Disorders by investigators affiliated with Goethe University in Germany, Cardiff University in the United Kingdom, and Federal University of Ceará in Brazil, white matter, microstructural changes in the fornix are associated with cognitive ability in patients diagnosed with schizophrenia but not in those individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are characterized by significant genetic overlap, as well as significant overlap in the presentation of clinical symptoms. Brain white matter abnormalities are known to exist in patients diagnosed with psychosis, but until now, the direct comparison of white matter changes between individuals with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder has not been performed.
Investigators used diffusion tensor imaging (DTI) to examine white matter tracts in 32 euthymic bipolar disorder type I patients (15 female), 26 schizophrenia patients (13 female), and 30 matched typical, healthy control participants (16 female). The mean age of onset of bipolar disorder in the sample was 32.9 (SD=10.95), and 24.31 (SD=4.88) for patients with schizophrenia. All participants were taking medications at the time of study enrollment, but patients did not receive benzodiazepine drugs for at least 1 month prior to any brain imaging procedures.
Investigators chose to examine 4 white matter tracts: the bilateral fornix, the bilateral cingulum, the corpus callosum, and the bilateral anterior thalamic radiation. Disruption in fornix integrity in schizophrenia patients has previously been shown. The volume of the fornix in individuals with either schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, however, was found previously not to be significantly different from that of control participants.
With respect to the cingulum, decreased fractional anisotropy (FA) values were observed in individuals with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. White matter tract abnormalities in the corpus callosum were also reported in both groups of individuals. Finally, microstructural changes in the anterior thalamic radiation were previously observed in patients with schizophrenia, and these abnormalities were linked to cognitive deficits.
In the current study, data show widespread white matter tract abnormalities in patients with schizophrenia compared with control participants [ie, differences were observed in all 4 regions and all indices of microstructral integrity, including fractional anisotropy (FA), number of fiber tracts (NofT), tract length (Le), and tract volume (vol)]. Differences in tract integrity were much smaller when these indices were compared between patients with bipolar disorder and controls, and alterations were noted only in the bilateral fornix.
Additionally, the alterations of the fornix have a functional relevance for cognitive performance (ie, reduced executive functioning and psychomotor speed) in patients with schizophrenia, but not bipolar disorder. These data “suggest that cognitive symptoms are closely associated with white matter changes in the fornix, at a greater (and significant) extent in schizophrenia than in bipolar disorder,” the authors wrote in their publication.
Mean Bipolar Downswings: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself! by Julie Fast.
I just read this blogpost by my friend Julie Fast. It seems like she has read my mind and put down exactly how I’m feeling right now! Totally negative, about everything, it feels pretty bad! Will try all in my power to get over this blast of negativity, and get back to my positive, real self. Thank you Julie for posting this! XXXOOO
“When overwhelmed, negative mood swings arrive, they can bring out some very unsavory behavior. 1. No table at a restaurant pleases. 2. No food tastes good. 3. Driving causes road rage. 4. Life feels very difficult. 5. It’s hard to find a comfortable place to sit. 6. Work is scattered. 7. The body is out of whack. 8. People get on the nerves. 9. Life is too busy. 10. We want a different life. When I have one of these mood swings, I recognize that I’m overwhelmed and I take action. It usually takes me hours to get myself to calm down and those are often lost hours. I have to stop myself from driving randomly. I will park, go in a place, feel uncomfortable and leave over and over again if I let myself. I will eat sugar to feel better and to calm down. I will snap at people and yell and scream and pedestrians who do something stupid. I don’t want to be this person, so I check myself before I wreck myself. Julie”
Source: Mean Bipolar Downswings: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself!
People…
They will say whatever they want, do whatever they want, think whatever they want, whenever they want. There’s nothing we can do about it, nothing I can do about it. People who you thought were your friends will call you a narcissist, nothing you can do about it. You are not a narcissist, all your true friends know that. Or do they? How do you know what anyone thinks? How do you know whom to trust? Can you trust anyone at all? Are we not just animals with animal brains, thinking animal thoughts that come out of the animal amalgamation, the chemical concoction in our brains. Half the time we don’t even know why we feel the way we do, how can we possibly know how someone else feels and why and what will come out of their mouth?
Let me just tell you honestly, so you can laugh your head off, I have always given my friendship unconditionally to my friends, trusted them wholly, and they could trust me completely, I’ve been their friend with no conditions. But I am not really sure that is the right thing to do. Of course, and again, here I am being stupidly sincere, I don’t know what the right thing to do is… it’s just that when someone you think is your friend calls you a narcissist, well, it doesn’t feel good. And it sort of shakes up your beliefs and it rattles your trust in other people. Does everyone think I’m a narcissist and just hasn’t said it to my face? Do they think worse? No, I admit, I am decidedly no angel, but when I think of you as my friend, I do think of you well.
Anyway… I’ll get over it. I know I am not a narcissist, and so do my close friends… I think… I don’t want what someone said to me, maybe carelessly, maybe not, to change who I am and how I think and behave, but for now it has, like a brand new Ferrari 458 Italia red can get dented in a collision… I feel dented, maybe time will hammer out the dents and give me a fresh coat of fire engine red paint. Maybe not. Ooops, is that narcissistic???
Five to Quit, One to NEVER Quit!
And one thing to NEVER, EVER quit: Being Independent! Don’t depend on the good wishes of anyone, on the affection of anyone. Be everything to yourself! Give yourself the love you never got, give yourself the approval you never got, everyone else is battling their own issues, give unto yourself. And having given to yourself, then try and give to others as well. Be a beacon of love and warmth, at least try!
Quit these:
Trying to Please Everyone: Yeah that always works! Everyone is always so pleased by everything I do, they call me “The Princess!” NOT! It never works. Don’t try to please everyone, in fact don’t try to please anyone, just do what you think is right and proper and necessary. Don’t worry about anyone else! And never explain yourself to anyone.
Fearing Change: Change is the only constant! Ha! It really is! Nothing ever stays the same, you never step into the same river twice, blah, blah, blah. No, seriously, we are all changing every moment, the day turns into night, summer turns into fall, and ebony hair turns grey. Thermodynamics, entropy, aging, change, read about it!
Living in the Past: If it’s been said once, it’s been said a million times, you can’t change the past! No matter how many times you go over it in your head, you cannot change the past. So don’t think about it, don’t live in it, they don’t have very nice accommodations!
Putting Yourself Down: Yeah, this is the real one. Put yourself down, and immediately, there will be people who call themselves your friends, who will absolutely agree with you! They’ll go a few steps further and perhaps pull out all the stops and trash you! In fact people will put you down out of the clear blue sky, you don’t even have to utter one single word against yourself. Why put yourself down? Everyone else is already ready to do it for you, yes they unfortunately are… so build yourself up, so when people put you down, there is still a structure called “YOU” left standing!
Overthinking: Just three words: Don’t do it!
I Got Nothing
I was going to post some scientific research about similarities in schizophrenia and autism, but decided not to (Read it here if you’d like: Autism, Schizophrenia,Epilepsy, Dementia .) Then I was going to write something, anything, as a post, but have nothing. Not sad, not happy, just have a little ball of dread lodged in my solar plexus. Besides that, nothing.
Finished reading the “Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy” book. Hilarious, and she is so hilariously incompetent that anyone would feel better after reading it. Maybe that’s the reason for her popularity… But really, really funny book. Highly recommend it!
Got five more books from my favorite bookstore in the Highlands, haven’t started reading them though. One of them is the earlier writings of Jane Austen known as Juvenilia! I didn’t think there was anything by Jane Austen in existence that I hadn’t read! But there is, and very excited, will start reading it tonight 🙂
Worried about my son, haha, of course worried about my son. I know I shouldn’t worry about him, he is intelligent and capable and he is going to pass the Bar and find a job and take responsibility for himself and his life. May he have a beloved, happy, healthy life, doing what he loves to do. That’s the prayer of a mother’s heart.
Politics have been absolutely appalling, but since Hillary is slated to win by 88%, I can relax about that, whew! I hope! Still have to get my KY license, have a spare NY license so will always have that 🙂
Been going to Zumba, so FUN! A smile never leaves my face when I’m doing Zumba!
Hope to have something more inspiring shortly…
